Weirdo Toys

Archive for October, 2007

Captain Cavewoman?

Monday, October 8th, 2007

So, I found this nappy, scraggly, disgusting piece of plastic at a flea market years ago. Funny thing is, this little lady looks like she might actually have fleas.

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It seems like she’s a finger-puppet or something (the ugliest finger-puppet a mother can buy but a finger-puppet nonetheless).

She looks like she could be E.T.’s mom. Look at her! She’s a chubby E.T. with hair, boobs, and a furry dress.

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My only clue to what she is is the fine print on her posterior that reads © Anjar 1989. I’ve currently been unable to find any details about caveman finger-puppets.

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I know when I bought this thing, it reminded me of the old Nintendo game, “Caveman Games.” It was basically prehistoric versions of the Olympic Games. Fun stuff.

Caveman Games screenshot

… Much better than recent caveman entertainment. Like those Geico commercials that have “evolved” into a crappy show on ABC (I haven’t seen it. I’m just making assumptions and talking trash.) I remember the good ol’ days of caveman entertainment: The Flinstones, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, Captain Caveman, Caveman (the movie), Encino Man… well, maybe it wasn’t so great afterall.

Posted in Gross, Human?, Puppets, Ugly, Used & Abused | 7 Comments »

Humpty Dumpty

Friday, October 5th, 2007

So, this is the 3rd and last toy I found at the White Horse Road Flea Market last Sunday. One of the vendors had a stack of these things selling them for a buck each. They were actually produced in 1986. It turned out to be an 80s toy weekend.

It’s Humpty Dumpty!
He’s not as cute as I remembered. He looks a bit freaky. Maybe even maniacal.

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So, the Humpty Dumpty was peculiar enough, but it was the unique box that sold it to me. Just look at this thing.

At first glance it looks like any old Playskool toy. Ya know, the blue/red striping, the red logo, etc.

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Waitaminit! It’s made by Krypton? Isn’t that Superman’s home planet?
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Wow! You know you’re in bad shape if your hoping to score some sales by ripping off Playskool.

Another great thing about this package are the funny product “callouts.”

“Now with ‘Had a Great Fall!’ Action!”
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You know how much kids love learning to save money.
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“And You ‘CAN’ Put Him Back Together Again…” if you feel inclined….
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And I just love this encouraging instruction sheet. At the end, it reads: Remember puzzles are not supposed to be simple. “So if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”
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Well, looks simple enough. I hope the kids learn something.

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Just for kicks, here’s a unique perspective of Humpty Dumpty by Ricky Gervais:

Posted in Food, Nursery Rhymes, Puzzle | 2 Comments »

Weird Ball – “None Chuck” by Mel Appel

Monday, October 1st, 2007

So, on Sunday’s trip to the flea market, I also found another quirky old 80′s toy. He wasn’t quite as gross as the Gross Out Gang Pie-Guy I found, but this incredibly stereotypical depiction of the classic ninja made me chuckle. It reminded me of an era of where toy companies obviously weren’t as afraid to offend as they are nowadays.

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I had no idea what this guy was, but he was marked ©Crayart, so that gave me a clue in my search. After a bit of online research, I’ve pieced together that this character is None Chuck from a toy line called “Weird Ball” released by Mel Appel in 1986.

Weird Ball's 'None Chuck' by Mel Appel - Toy Packaging

It’s apparently a toyline based on trading cards of the same name. They’re an obvious ripoff of Garbage Pail Kids, Madballs and Wacky Packages.

Weird Ball Collector's Cards

Here’s the original None Chuck Weird Ball trading card.

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They even had “Mini-Collectums”… a ripoff of M.U.S.C.L.E.

Weird Ball Mini Collectums

Now I’m on the lookout for some Weird Ball toys. If you have any you wanna get rid of, send ‘em my way.

(… and yes, I know I just recently posted about a ninja.)

Posted in Bizarre, Cards, Funny, Gross, Human?, Ninja | 10 Comments »

Gross Out Gang

Monday, October 1st, 2007

Well, with the help of a friend (thanks Brian) and a dab of common sense, I now know that the “Pie-Eater” and “Big-Lips” Skilcraft figures are part of a series called the “Gross Out Gang.” That explains the “GOG” on Big-Lip’s pants pocket.

I don’t have any info other than these pics I found online. Anyone know more about them or wanna sell them to me?

Gross Out Gang by Skilcraft - packaging photo

Looks like Pie-Eater guy is missing a cape

Check out these related entries:
You got some big-ass lips!
Georgie Porgie
Gross Out Gang – Class of ’87
Gross Out Gang – Skilcraft 1987

Posted in Bizarre, Funny, Gross, Human? | 7 Comments »

Georgie Porgie

Monday, October 1st, 2007

So, yesterday, I went to the White Horse Road Flea Market along with my friends Chris and Duane (some comic and toy buddies of mine). I’d been to this place a few times over the years and I never really found anything that moved me, but lo and behold, I found something (It wasn’t just another happy meal toy either. It was actually something I’ve been LOOKING for!).

I found the toy in one of the first rows of tables I walked by. I saw an older man sitting alone at a table (narrows it down doesn’t it?), He was just selling old tools or magazines or whatever-the-hell, but among the clutter I saw a little figure calling out to me. I approached the table for closer inspection and picked up the figure. The man insisted that i was holding a Fat Albert toy. “You remember the cartoon?” he asked. Yeah, I remember… and this was not Fat Albert.

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I knew better. Much to my surprise, I had miraculously found another one of those freaky 1987 Skilcraft figures (I found that big-lipped guy 6 or 7 years ago maybe, and I thought I’d never see anything like it again).

Again, I have no clue what these weird, gross characters are, but now that I’ve found two of them, maybe I can piece some things together. They seemed to be mouth or eating related. This guy obviously loves pie. it’s crammed into his face and he even has his hands full of it. I’m not really sure what the white fish emblem on his shirt is. A Whale? Moby Dick perhaps?

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