Well, it’s that time again. Time to start a new year! What better way to get fired up for 2008 than to light one up with Baby New Year!
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Alright, maybe this isn’t exactly the cuddly, newborn Baby New Year you’ve always imagined (something disturbs me about the back of his head). This is actually the ceramic Smoking Baby by Accoutrements. It’s pretty simple. This little fella is a smoking baby that comes packaged with his own mini pack of Lucky Monkey cigarettes (really just small sticks of unscented incense wrapped in paper).
“What? These things can stunt my growth?”
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When the baby’s “cigarette” is lit, it actually makes for a pretty convincing visual. I couldn’t do it justice in this video, but the cigarette has the little cherry tip, flowing smoke and everything. Nice. To spice things up, he’s accompanied by the comic stylings of comedy legend Bill Hicks. So, listen to what Bill has to say about smoking, and see this baby suck the cigarette down to its filter.
I’m not really a fan of smoking, but I do hope you all have a smokin’ new year (Yeah. Corny. I know.). Happy New Year folks!
I recently realized I don’t have any weird Christmas-themed toys lying around, so yesterday, I decided to go on a search for something odd to feature on the blog. I really had no idea where to start. Luckily, a friend of mine recommended a place filled with all kinds of random crap – Wilsons 5¢ and $1.00(typically known as Wilson’s 5¢ and 10¢). Once there, I dug around a bit, rummaging through some stuff you might expect – snowman rubber duckies, reindeer with light-up noses, santa bobble-heads, etc. I was a bit disappointed. There was some “cute” stuff but not a damned thing that I’d consider a “weirdo toy.”
On my way out, I walked by a stack of boxes that presented a disturbing sight. At a glance, I didn’t know what I’d seen. I just knew I’d seen Santa’s nipples, and it seemed very, very wrong (That’s a good first step to being a weirdo toy). On closer inspection, i saw Santa and Mrs. Claus bathing together. This may be the first time we’ve seen this couple so scantily clad. Not your typical holiday scenario. This seemed a bit wrong too (Hmm. A good second step to being a weirdo toy). I picked up the toy and found its power switch. Once activated I realized this wasn’t just a weird half-naked depiction of Mr. and Mrs. Claus bathing together, but it was a sound-activated, singing and dancing, half-naked Mr. and Mrs. Claus (Okay, that’s it! This is now a weirdo toy). Well, only Santa actually sings. And of course, he’s singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
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Here’s a look at Mr. and Mrs. Claus in action.
With every gyrating pulse, Santa leans back and forth toward the vibrating Mrs. Claus, accentuating the freaky, rubbery folds of skin that move and flex over the animatronics. It’s slightly disturbing and maybe even a bit perverse, but I think it’s hilarious.
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I’m curious to know why Santa’s belly button is so red and inflamed. It really looks infected. Disgusting. And those bubbles look like weird growths.
The box reads: “Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub: Mr. & Mrs. Santa Sing and Swing in the Bathtub.” It was produced by Action Novelty Corp. I couldn’t find any info about the company, but it looks like this isn’t the only Christmas toy they’ve produced.
“Mr. & Mrs. Santa Sing and Swing in the Bathtub”
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Well, we now know that even Santa is naughty sometimes. I just hope this disturbing sight of St. Nick hasn’t ruined Christmas for you. Merry Christmas Everybody!
It’s everyone’s favorite mechanical crime fighter (other than Robocop)! Here we have an old 12″ Inspector Gadget by Galoob dated 1983.
Go-Go Gadget Copter!
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For those who don’t remember Inspector Gadget, I’ll try to sum him up quickly. It was an 80s cartoon inspired by the old spy show, Get Smart. The show starred a clumsy, absent-minded, and oblivious detective, Inspector Gadget – a cop with various gadgets built into his anatomy. Gadget spent most of his time trying to stop his nemesis – the mysterious Dr. Claw, leader of the evil organization, MAD.
There’s a bit more to the show, but I’m not going to bother you with every little detail.
I just happened upon the Inspector Gadget “action doll” at a toy show months ago. I never even knew this toy existed, but as soon as I saw him, I knew I had to have him. I just love the playability of this toy and the absolutely appropriate and accurate accessories included with it. He has “8 magic features and 20 moving parts.”
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Just look at all he has to offer:
He looks perfect. Looks like he just stepped out of the cartoon
12 inches tall
20 points of articulation
Firing Hand and Pop-out Hand
Pop-Out Legs
Fabric Trench Coat
Helicopter Hat
Huge Cartoony Mallet
Working Handcuffs (to cuff the fake arm in Dr. Claws’ chair I guess)
Hat Extension Arm
Parachute Umbrella
Go-Go Gadget Legs!
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Go-Go Gadget Neck!
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Go-Go Gadget Hands!
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Go-Go Gadget ‘Brella!
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Go-Go Gadget… Cuffs?!
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Told you he was great. Only bad thing is, he has no one else to arrest. I guess he could always cuff Barbie. “Go-Go Gadget… nevermind.”
Wowzers!
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If that isn’t enough for you, check this truly unforgettable intro. Careful though. The song may be a bit too catchy.
INFO UPDATE:
Over the months I’ve noticed that the Inspector Gadget doll I featured here isn’t the same one I’ve seen online and on eBay and everywhere else. At first glance they are pretty much the same, but in a few moments, you’ll see that things are definitely much different.
Slim-Box Gadget
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First, let’s start with the doll’s box. I’m not sure whether this package version appeared first or second, but as you can see, it’s a slimmer, condensed version of the box pictured in my original entry above. It does have an extending flap that makes it appear wider. Not quite sure why they included that, because it seems like that panel would block any other Gadget dolls or other merchandise from being seen on the store shelves.
Straight-Arm Gadget
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Second, let’s look at his arms. This is something I’d noticed most whenever i found images of the Gadget doll online. The most common version is this straight-armed version. This lack of elbow, bicep and shoulder articulation really makes Gadget appear stiff and awkward. He can’t bend his elbows to comfortably hold his Gadget-Copter. To accommodate this new awkward hand position, Galoob altered the design of the Helicopter-Hat accessory. The handlebars are much more narrow, short and they protrude in front of him.
Gadget Accessories
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Third are his accessories. Both Gadget dolls come with the same accessories, but the pink items that come with with the “Straight-Arm Gadget” are much more vibrant and saturated. Also, as you can see here, his handcuffs are a dull gray plastic instead of the metallic-coated plastic of the original Gadget.
Gadget Arms & Legs
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And last and probably least are his activation buttons. The “Straight-Arm Gadget” has blue buttons instead of yellow. It doesn’t really matter, but I though I’d point that out. I actually like the blue better, because they match the color of his Gadget-Neck.
If anyone has info on which of these versions is the original and has any explanation for these differences, please let me know. Hey. Maybe this “Straight-Arm Gadget” is the original. The other one could be the updated one… ya know… kinda like “swivel-arm battle grip” being introduced to the G.I.Joe toys.
Well, well, well. If it isn’t another Weird Ball figure by Mel Appel and Crayart. If you don’t remember Weird Ball cards or figures, don’t fret. I had no idea what they were either, until I managed to shed some light on the subject in my previous entry about “None Chuck.” And just like our little ninja friend, Runnin’ Ralph is a tad “politically incorrect” (exactly what he should be).
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If this toy was to be produced today it would have… um… well… it just couldn’t exist. You know, with it’s being a depiction of a sweaty, gluttonous (I only call him that cuz he’s running with his hoagie), middle-aged, obese white jogger, puffing on a cigarette. If a jogger toy did exist today, it would be some lame toy line made up of a team of joggers with “running-legs” action activated by squeezing their arms like the old Super Powers toys. There’d be six of them probably – males and females depicting each racial skin tone, and they’d be called “The Cardio Crew” or worse yet, “The Six Pack,” and their trainer would most likely be in a wheelchair.
