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Archive for the ‘Bizarre’ Category

Battle Babies by Brad Rader

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

I don’t even know where to begin with what I’m going to show you today.

You know what? I take that back. Described in a single word – “fun.”

Wait. I have more words…

As soon as I saw these toys, all I felt was joy, giddy-ness, surprise, anticipation. I literally laughed. You know if toys make you excited with laughter, they have to be worth something.

Let’s check ‘em out.

The beastly toys we have here are…

Double-Edged Dumplings & Cybear Vishnu

Unhumongous & Bullshot

Beano Bomber and Coptorilla

The Clobbler & Shankoppotamus

Afro Toddler & Count Tiger Gun

These guys are called Battle Babies! (Yep. You heard correctly – Battle-Freakin’-Babies.)

They are a bunch of well-armed animals piloted/ridden by BABIES! I have no clue how I’ve never seen these things before now, but I know I love ‘em.

They are probably just some weird, obscure vintage toyline that was produced as a knockoff of the Barnyard Commandos. (How have I missed these before now?)

First up, is Cybear Vishnu.
This guy means business.

Look at ‘im. He’s a freaky 8-legged monstrosity. At his core, he’s a bear, but it looks like he’s been merged with some weird humanoid with big blue arms coming out of his butt cheeks along with some robotic prosthetics on his shoulders. There’s a head in bowl in his belly. Is he the conjoined twin brother? This is freaky.

He’s wearing metallic underwear, big ol’ glasses, a set of samurai twin babies – The Double-Edged Dumplings… and he breathes fire.

Scary indeed.

Next we have Bullshot.
He’s just a bull with a big honkin’ gun on his back.

He seems to be fitted with a fluffy collar and tailfins. (maybe this guy can get airborne.)

And he’s piloted by The Unhumongous – the most evil-looking baby I’ve ever seen.

The scary metal face mask most definitely is hiding a freakishly-scarred visage he’s had all his life… all 9 months of it. Ha.

Next up? Coptorilla. Wow. A Gorilla helicopter!

This ape is equipped with goggles, shoulder pads, missiles and a functioning propeller. He’s ready for action… and it looks like he may want to play catch later too. (Check out his right hand.)

Beano Bomber, his baby pilot, looks pretty friendly. The makings of a good guy baby.

Here we have Shankoppotamus – a killer hippo (well, more killer than usual I guess).

So hippos are inherently mean and dangerous to begin with, but this guy regurgitates a sword. Sheez! And for long range attacks, he’s equipped with a big laser cannon. I never imagined hippos being so high-tech.

See that yellow blob on his head? I think that’s brain slug which is probably how the baby here keeps him under his control. and speaking of the baby…

Damn! Look at that fist. He’d clobber the crap out of you. Guess that’s why he’s called The Clobbler. (Looks like Fisto’s love child.)

Last but not least is Count Tiger Gun. This guy means business. Not only is he wielding a blade, but he has a gun barrel jutting out of his mouth… and he’s a vampire apparently.

Wow. Imagine being chased by a tiger. Scary, right? Well what if that tiger was undead and shooting/slicing at you as he chased you? Ha!

He’s wearing this black leather cape w/ silver studs. Kinda gothic

His baby, Afro Toddler, is interesting. He looks like an Asian baby with a big-ass afro. I’m sure he’s hiding grenades in there or something. He’s also toting around a big machine gun.

Man these babies really are ready for battle.

Unfortunately, I have a confession: These toys aren’t an actual toyline. They are customs made by a fellow weirdo toy lover.

This new legendary toyline all started with my newfound toy buddy, Brad Rader (who coincidentally is the husband of fellow geek blogger, Stacey “GeekyVixen” Rader).

Anyway, one day, Brad sent me a link to a collection of photos (below) spotlighting his “Battle Babies”

They are custom toys which are essentially kit bashes using random baby toys, animals toys and whole mess of various action figure accessories.

The thing that gets me is how perfectly suited each accessory is to the baby and to the beast.

So freakin’ great and well done.

You can buy Battle Babies at the GeekyVixen Etsy shop! If you end up with any in your collection, please share your impressions, pics, etc!

And remember… BABY POWER!!!

Tags: 80s, Animals, Barnyard Commandos, Battle Babies, Custom Toys
Posted in Animals, Bizarre, Custom, Cute, Goofy, Human? | 15 Comments »

Lil’ Zombie Prototype 3

Monday, July 4th, 2011

You know those little green army men that we all had growing up? We kind of liked them, because they were cool military guys with weapons, but we also hated them cuz they weren’t as cool and poesable like modern 3.75″ figures like G.I. Joe.

Army Men Toys

Well, they are iconic and will probably always be around for a long, long time.

But what if the classic army men adapted to seemingly steady incline of zombies in popular culture? If these mini figures follow the trend of recent comics, movies, games and even car commercials, I’m thinking mainstream zombie toys aren’t far off.

Zombie Movies, Comics and Commercials

Well, thanks to the forward thinking and generosity of Weirdo Toys reader, Sarah Bush, we now know how these Army Men may look if they were “zombified.”

Army Man

Take this guy for example. He’s some generic heavy machine gunner…

…but if he were a zombie, he’d look like this.

Instead of a machine gun, he’s now armed w/ a machete and it looks like he may have cut his own arm off.

Oh yeah, and he only has one shoe.

A while back I received this little gruesome guy in the mail, and I knew I’d eventually share it with you guys.

He’s simply called “Lil Zombie Prototype 3.” (I’m wondering how many of these customs are roaming the toy streets feeding on brains.)

It’s an unbelievably tiny zombie toy with some nice detailing. He’s only 1.5″ tall.

These ultra-closeup photos really don’t do the toy justice. Seeing a toy that’s so small this close makes it appear more sloppy and not very detailed.

Just to give you a sense of scale, here’s the Lil’ Zombie pictured with a Master of the Universe Scareglow figure (Why Scareglow? I dunno. He just happened to be close by, and I know you guys know how tall a MOTU figure is). Tiny, tiny zombie.

This toy actually reminds me a lot of the mini Z.O.M.B.I.E. figures by October Toys.

Thanks a lot for the prototype, Sarah. I hope to see more lil’ zombies making their way out into the toy world.

Tags: army, Custom, zombie
Posted in Bizarre, Custom, Human?, Prototypes | 8 Comments »

Quakor vs. Mush Man

Friday, April 1st, 2011

I recently attended a toy show where I dug up what could be some of the most obscure 80s toys in existence. (Sounds pretty dramatic, huh? Well, maybe the most obscure toys I own.)

Seriously though. Look at these guys. It’s a freakin’ oatmeal monster and the Quaker Oats guy as a He-Man figure.

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I’m not a huge collector of the Masters of the Universe (MOTU) toyline, but I had the toys as a child. I am pretty familiar with the original MOTU toyline and all of its characters, variations, etc., but I have never seen or heard of this guy. Ever. There are tons of other blogs and toy sites that are dedicated strictly to the MOTU toyline, and according to them this figure doesn’t exist. It actually reminds me of the infamous “Wonderbread He-Man.”

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Alright. I’d like to buy that this figure doesn’t exist and that this is just someone’s really lame idea for a MOTU custom… thing is, I can’t. The paint job is just too good, the head too well-sculpted and then there’s this – along with the figure came this little sheet of paper.

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It’s a small bio thing explaining that this is Quakor and he helps He-man and the gang stay healthy. It reads:

Quakor: Heroic Purveyor of Health
Quakor with the help of his Instant Quaker Oatmeal assists He-Man and his Heroic Warriors in keeping their strength everyday to do battle with Skeletor and his Evil Warriors.

Quakor?! HA! That’s so bad, it’s good.

And man, that’s some lame, blatant marketing going on there. Heroic Purveyor of Health? Ha!

I also found this little order form. I’m guessing it was packed in the Instant Quaker Oatmeal boxes.

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Apparently Quakor is a mail-away figure from the Quaker Oats company which was produced in partnership with Mattel. I’m all about exclusive or mail-away toys, but the fact that this thing even exists seems absurd. Sure, it’s just a simple repaint of the Prince Adam toy with a new head, but a super-buff Quaker character seems soooo poorly planned. Just a bad, bad idea.

But it doesn’t stop there.

As I showed you earlier, there’s this guy – the Oatmeal Monster. It’s actually another toy offer Quaker did for a character called Mush Man.

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He’s actually pretty cool looking. Seems to be the evil embodiment of mushy oatmeal.

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Thing is, why the hell would you promote your own oatmeal product as a monster? Ha!

I do admit, it makes for a cool looking toy which cashes in on the 80s “gross” phase. It just seems a bit out-of character, that’s all.

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As soon as I laid eyes on Mush Man, I knew I recognized him. He seems to just be a simple re-deco of a figure called Muck Man from an obscure 80s toyline called “Monster Man” by Woolworth.

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The original Muck Man has a gray/purple color scheme while Mush man is just beige.

(Yep. That’s oatmeal alright. Beige.)

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I’m not sure if this guy was released before or after Quakor, but they kind of make a fun set. The Quaker man vs. the walking pile of oatmeal. Who’d a thunk it?

So there ya go. Did I over-dramatize the obscurity of these things? I guess I just got excited.

If any of you Masters of the Universe collectors out there can help me validate Quakor, that’d be great. Thanks!

Tags: 80s, He-man, MOTU, Oatmeal, Quaker Oats
Posted in Bizarre, Giveaways, Gross, Human?, Monsters, TV and Movies | 18 Comments »

Share the Jiggle

Monday, March 28th, 2011

You know what’s great about authoring a toy blog? Finding and connecting with fellow toy nuts like yourselves.

Know what makes it even better? When we toy nuts share with each other. I’m not even talking about sharing thoughts, photos, etc. That’s truly great, but I mean literally just giving each other toys. (Maybe I mean gifting vs. sharing?)

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Just recently I got this cool little jiggler monster in the mail from a mystery person. I racked my brain trying to figure out how the hell it ended up in my mailbox. Did I order this and forget? I had no clue what was going on. What made this random gift so strange, is the fact that I’d literally been eyeballing the same toy on eBay for a while but had been passing it over cuz it was just too pricey. Pretty coincidental, huh?

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Turns out it was sent by a member of a toy discussion board I frequent. (Thanks “lastactionhero.” You’re the best.)

I know you may not wanna hear about me and my surprise packages, but moments like this inspire me. (This isn’t even the first time this has happened. I’m just featuring this guy cuz he’s sitting here on my desk.) These acts of generosity remind me that simply taking a moment in your collecting and being on the lookout for the other guy, really helps spread the joy of collecting and reinforces the collecting community. I love this mentality and camaraderie when compared to the opposite approach of scalpers buying everything up and screwing us over in the secondary market.

After receiving this little bugger, I decided to give away toys to some random Twitter followers. It wasn’t much, but I was able to pass on some goofy toys to total strangers and quite possibly create some new toy friends. (I wish I could do more for you guys, but unfortunately, I don’t have sponsors or budgets to run this blog. I have to share from my own stash.)

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Okay. Enough with the mushy stuff. Back to the toy.

I don’t know what it is.

I just know it’s older than me and it jiggles.

He looks to be some kind of dinosaur-monkey-alien thing.

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He’s hollow, rubbery, and it’s marked “Gigantor.” (Ha! He’s only 3.5″ tall… and I’m pretty sure he’s unrelated to the Japanese Gigantor series). It was produced by Steven Manufacturing in 1975.

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I can’t find much info on him. I’ve only found a few more examples of bizarre creatures that this “Steven Mfg / Gigantor” line consists of.

They look to be combos of dinosaurs and other animals. I found ‘em on the Plastcauria blog. They are just weird.

Any ideas?

Tags: Gigantor, Jiggler
Posted in Alien, Bizarre, Monsters, Unsolved Mystery | 8 Comments »

You’re such a brat… and your dog’s ugly.

Tuesday, March 8th, 2011

Awww… isn’t that cute? It’s a little girl with her fuzzy puppy.

“Hey! Little girl – can I pet your dog?”

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GAAHHHHH!!!

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Kill it! Kill it!!

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What the hell is that thing?

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Um.. hmm. Is that a hairless dog?

No.

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Um… is that an elephant with a human head?

Uh… kind of… I dunno.

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Hey… Wait.

No.

What’re you doing?

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NOOOOO!!!!!

This can’t be happening!

HAHAHA!!

Sorry folks. A little gross I know?

Seriously though. What the hell is up with these toys?

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I don’t have many strange “dolls” in my collection, but for obvious reasons I HAD to have these two. I mean, c’mon! A creepy, little red-headed stepchild along with some kind of crossbreed, humanoid elephant. What’s not to like?

My question is, how can these have been produced with children in mind? Seems like the makings of a nightmare if you ask me.

These toys aren’t related at all, as far as toy series, toy company or anything goes… but in some strange way, they seem to be made for each other.
When I picked these up last year, I had no clue what they were, but luckily with a bit of online research, I can now tell you what’s up with these guys.

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Let’s start with the freaky-ass, humanoid elephant creature.

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He has a gray, elephant’s body, a human face, with real hair and an elephant’s trunk. Strange.

Troll Animals

Well, as some might have guessed, this toy is actually a troll doll by Dam. They actually released a now-rare collection of troll animals in the 1960s.

If trolls weren’t creepy enough, they have now been unnaturally paired with various animals to give us instant oddities. Some of them are actually kind of cute, but luckily for us, mine’s freaky. (I think it may be a bootleg or something, because mine is so small compared to the original, larger-sized troll animals. It also has a marking “Made in Japan” on its belly.)

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And next we have the scary, little girl who looks like the Joker.

Happy Herman

She actually reminds me of the old Happy Herman doll I posted about a few years back – kind of an Alfred E. Neuman ripoff. She’s a creepy, rubber doll with red, rooted hair, freckles, and a mysterious open mouth with sloppy lipstick applied.

Since I first got her, I always had the sense that she’s made to squeak or blow a balloon or something. Turns out, I was right.

Brat Doll

Apparently, these dolls had a small balloon tongue which would inflate when you squeezed the doll’s torso.

She’s actually from an old series of dolls released in the 1960s simply called “Brat Doll.” (I’ve actually gathered a few pics from old Etsy sales.)

Brat Doll

The tag around her neck reads:

Brat Doll – Squeeze me and I stick out my tongue.

Pat. #104994

I’m just a little brat

Enco, Inc. N.Y.C., Sole Importers, Parkersmith Corp N.Y.C.

Brat Doll

Looks like there were variations of the Brat Doll – sometimes sold as a girl or a boy depending on the haircut and clothing. Good to see hobo children toys were all the rage in the 60s. Could this be original form of “Bratz?”

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Now wasn’t that educational? As always, you’ve now discovered a toy you’ve never seen and will never want to see again

I guess it’s time to ride off into the sunset.

“Hi-yo Weirdo! Away!!”

Tags: Baby doll, Bratz, Trolls
Posted in Animals, Bizarre, Dolls, Human? | 14 Comments »

Archive for the ‘Bizarre’ Category

Battle Babies by Brad Rader

Lil’ Zombie Prototype 3

Quakor vs. Mush Man

Share the Jiggle

You’re such a brat… and your dog’s ugly.

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