Archive for the ‘Bizarre’ Category

Robot Fondles Boobs

Tuesday, March 17th, 2009

I’m sure some of you have seen this article at Gizmodo.

Apparently, there’s been a sighting in Japan of one of those classic claw machines filled with a pile of squishy, novelty breasts. Pretty unique… and weird. Thought I’d share.

Boob machine

I guess they’re just perverted stress relievers (or sexual frustration enhancers). The only bad thing is, once you win one from the claw machine, you’ll have to spend another however-many-dollars to get a second one. What good are toy boobs if not in pairs?

Now that I think about it, I recently saw some of these for sale at a flea market I recently attended. I just kind of dismissed them. I probably should’ve given away free Boob-balls instead of free Madballs.

Weirdo Google Searches

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

As you may know, a lot of folks who have websites track their stats, visitors, etc. using Google Analytics. I do the same. I’ve been using it since I started the blog.

Google Analytics really does present a lot of info – stuff like where my visitors are from, what pages they looked at and for how long. A really interesting and even comedic feature for me is the Traffic Sources: Keywords category. It lists what terms were searched in Google that brought individuals to my site. Most searches are what you might expect – stuff like “Madballs,” “Zombie Toy,” “Bootleg Toys,” etc.

Well, mixed in the bunch are totally off-the-wall surprises that I’ve been sharing on Twitter. Due to some fan reactions, I thought maybe I’d let you all in on it too. So, I’m gonna try something goofy on the blog and share a top-10 list of weirdo Google searches. Not sure if it’ll be monthly or weekly or what. Maybe I’ll just do it as funny things come up.

Weirdo Searches

Here are the Top 10 weird search terms from March 1-7, 2009:

10. “battlestar galactica nude”

9. ” just another happy meal”

8. “this guy is like the terminator”

7. ” why are people scared of the abominable snowman”

6. “scary toys no fur gallery”

5. “ugly balls”

4. “big toys in ass”

3. “ass lips”

2. “claymation of clown smelling finger from ass”

(looks like Weirdo Toys gets a lot of ‘ass’)

… and my favorite….

1. “am i weird because i collect toys”

Yeah, I know #2 is pretty disturbing, but you have to admit, #1 is pretty funny.

You know what would be great? Some kind of screwed up scavenger hunt where the readers of the blog have to find toys that relate to these search terms. Or maybe a custom-toy contest. Man that would be freaky and hilarious.

Take me to your Imperious Leader.

Wednesday, December 17th, 2008

So, here it is – Part 2 of my toy-finds at the Greater York Toy Extravaganza. Let’s keep it simple and just itemize what makes this toy so weird.

Ready?

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Imperial Leader of Battlestar Galactica

1. Freaky alien fish face

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Imperial Leader of Battlestar Galactica

2. Big, purple, 70s afro

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Imperial Leader of Battlestar Galactica

3. Flippers for hands

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Imperial Leader of Battlestar Galactica

4. Weird, split, flippery things for feet

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Imperial Leader of Battlestar Galactica

5. Weird, cracking neck thing

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Imperial Leader of Battlestar Galactica

6. And she’s completely nude (I’m calling her “she,” because she’s pink, dainty and just kind of girly looking.)

She actually looks like a crabby, old, alien grandma.

I saw this little gal at a guy’s booth. And I literally exclaimed to the guy, “What the hell is this thing, and how much is it?!” The guy kindly rejected my enthusiasm with a slight shrug of his shoulders, walked over to his buddy, mumbled with him a bit, came back over and simply told me, “It’s from Battlestar Galactica and it’s $5.”

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Imperial Leader of Battlestar Galactica

So what do you think? Worth the five bucks? I dunno. It’s a bit run down and scraped-up. I’d usually pay one or two bucks for something like this, but I guess I was eager to buy since I’d never seen it before. I have since tried to convince myself that the wear-and-tear of the toy gives it more “character.” Who am I kidding? I could’ve gotten this toy MOC (that’s mint-on-card for all you non-dorky types) for $10 probably.

Well, it didn’t take long, but I did find more info about the toy. It’s Imperious Leader from the Battlestar Galactica toyline released by Mattel in 1978.

Imperial Leader of Battlestar Galactica

Looks like I’m missing the cape/shroud thingy.

Wow! With the blanket accessory, the alien grandma look is complete. You know how cold grandma is all the time. Maybe we need to get her a Snuggie, so she can drink tea and stay warm at the same time.

Ya know… now that I think about it, maybe the nude alien is best. That way we get to see all the hidden freakiness.

I never really watched Battlestar Galactica (classic or modern era) or cared about any of the toys, so I’m not really familiar with this character or what her role is in the show. I guess she’s a bad guy. Probably the leader of the Cylons. The description on the package actually reads: “Sinister mastermind from the TV Space Saga!” But how imperious of a leader or sinister of a mastermind could you possibly be if you have no opposable thumbs or even sleeves to let your flippers out?

Imperial Leader as Rick James

Oh, and one last thing.

Is it just me, or does that hairstyle look like it’s really inspired by Jheri Curl? Classic.

Buy Imperious Leader toys on eBay!

Socket Poppers by Ertl

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

I found some freakin’ great toys recently, and I have no idea what they are. They look like B-List wrestling stars. I’m not much into wrestling toys (or wrestling in general), but these guys make me wanna give them a chance.

The characters are so absurd, I’d love to see them in the WWE ring. Actually, if there are any wrestlers reading this, take some inspiration from these costumes. Every good wrestler needs a good gimmick.

So, what do you get when you cross a barbarian, a robot and the biker from the Village People?

You get this guy.

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Socket Poppers figure by Ertl Socket Poppers figure by Ertl

Well, howabout Batman, Conan and a surfer-dude at the prom?

I bet he’d look something like this.

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Socket Poppers figure by Ertl Socket Poppers figure by Ertl

What do you get when you cross a dragon and a witch doctor (who’s worried about his elbows)?

Voila!

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Socket Poppers figure by Ertl Socket Poppers figure by Ertl

What about a Flavor Flav wannabe who’s fallen victim to bad burns and a spill in toxic waste?

Okay that was a bit of a stretch.

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Socket Poppers figure by Ertl Socket Poppers figure by Ertl

I don’t even know what to say about this guy.

Robo-alien vampire?

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Socket Poppers figure by Ertl Socket Poppers figure by Ertl

Now this guy is one of my favorites. He’s wearing the classic, iconic wrestling tights… but with those wings and the mummy-wrapped head, he just looks like a freak! Perfect.

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Socket Poppers figure by Ertl

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Socket Poppers figure by Ertl

The figures are about the size of the small G.I. Joe or Star Wars figures. 3 3⁄4″ or so.

If they’re not wrestlers, I can easily see them in the background of a new Star Wars movie along with other random, crappy George Lucas aliens.

Alright.

I have to come clean.

I haven’t been totally honest with you all.

These figures don’t exist. (Well, they exist, but not necessarily in this form.)

You see, these mixed-up figures are actually from a toyline called Socket Poppers (if you hadn’t already figured it out by the title of this blog entry).

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Socket Poppers figures box by Ertl

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Socket Poppers figures box by Ertl

They’re a cool collection of characters released in 1991 by Ertl (you know, the company that’s best know for making those little die cast cars). So, just as the name implies, these figures have interchangeable parts. You can “pop” their heads, arms and legs from their “sockets” and pop them into place somewhere else.

I love the tagline on the box – “All body parts move… even to other BODIES!”

Socket Poppers figures box by Ertl

Man, the possibilities are endless. In fact, check out the trivia on the packaging. It reads:

Fun Facts:

Fact A: If you built three characters a minute with no duplications and worked continuously for two years, you couldn’t complete all the possible combinations offered by just two Socket Popper characters!

Fact B: Assuming their were no duplications in their work, one trillion people each working continuously for one trillion years could complete less than one one-billionth of the possible combinations offered by all 16 Socket Poppers characters!

I’ve only been able to get my hands on 11 of the figures (there are 16 in all). Check ‘em out. They still look pretty good as standalone toys.

Dinosaur
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Socket Poppers Dinosaur figure by Ertl Socket Poppers Dinosaur figure by Ertl

Rock Star
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Socket Poppers Rock Star figure by Ertl Socket Poppers Rock Star figure by Ertl

Vampire
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Socket Poppers Vampire figure by Ertl Socket Poppers Vampire figure by Ertl

Swamp Monster
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Socket Poppers Swamp Monster figure by Ertl Socket Poppers Swamp Monster figure by Ertl

Indian (looks more like a Barbarian to me)
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Socket Poppers Indian figure by Ertl Socket Poppers Indian figure by Ertl

Skateboarder
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Socket Poppers Skateboarder figure by Ertl Socket Poppers Skateboarder figure by Ertl

Pterodactyl
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Socket Poppers Pterodactyl figure by Ertl Socket Poppers Pterodactyl figure by Ertl

Robot
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Socket Poppers Robot figure by Ertl Socket Poppers Robot figure by Ertl

Mummy
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Socket Poppers Mummy figure by Ertl Socket Poppers Mummy figure by Ertl

Cyclops
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Socket Poppers Cyclops figure by Ertl Socket Poppers figure by Ertl

Wrestler
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Socket Poppers Wrestler figure by Ertl Socket Poppers Wrestler figure by Ertl

I would love to see a resurgence of this toyline… especially if there were multiple series of characters. There would be so much room for potential combos.

As I was searching for info on Socket Poppers, I was actually surprised by a little something I found. Apparently, Socket Poppers are a re-release of toys originally released by Matchbox (a company also known for making little diecast cars) in 1990. The toy line was known as Connectors. Pretty generic huh?

Connectors by Matchbox
Connectors photo courtesy of TonsOfToys.com.

My immediate reaction to seeing these toys in their packages is “Matchbox missed the point.” The great interactive feature of the toys is completely lost. There are definitely a few things that Ertl did right when marketing the Socket Poppers.

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Socket Poppers by Ertl Socket Poppers by Ertl

1. Name
“Socket Poppers” just sounds fun. It is engaging, and it kind of leaves you curious. “Connectors” may be a bit too vague. It’s definitely not fun. They could be anything from a tool set, to building blocks, to extension cords.

2. Visuals
The overall “look & feel” of the Socket Poppers graphics are bold, clear and eye-catching. The simplistic design and contrast in color helps everything stand out compared to the cluttered, overly-detailed and irrelevant graphics of Connectors. Also, the small repeating graphics of combos on the Socket Poppers package makes much more sense than the group of Connectors figures jumping from a castle.

3. Language
The socket poppers package is covered in fun, goofy language constantly reiterating the multiple combos and all. Even with the absurd stats that are probably untrue, it’s just fun and further illustrates the variety of the toys. Connectors uses none of that. Maybe there’s cool stuff on the back of the box though. Probably not.

4. Package Design
This is probably the smartest immediate difference in the packaging and the way the toys are displayed. The Socket Poppers are offered in multiples – not single carded figures. This allowed Ertl to clearly illustrate the intent of the toys. By simply displaying characters mixed with one another, they immediately communicated to kids what they’re supposed to do with the toys. You don’t have to read a thing. Connectors, on the other hand, have a single figure sitting there in generic box. Not nearly as fun, and it definitely isn’t clear that the characters can be mixed up.

I’m not sure why I’m over-analyzing the packaging like this. It must be the designer in me. I was just impressed by the thought that Ertl put into packaging the Socket Poppers versus what Matchbox ended up doing for Connectors.

Socket Poppers figures I'm missing

And lastly, I’d love for anyone out there that may have the Monster Fly, Football Player, Sheriff, Mutant or Soldier figures to contact me. I’d love to take them off your hands to finish my collection. Plus, I could feature them here along with some more messed up combos.

Thanks for reading.

Hokuto no Ken Revolution – Exploding Member of Zeed

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Hello again. Sorry I haven’t had a new toy up in a while. I was away on vacation, and now I’ve finally gotten around to bringing you more weirdo toy goodness.

Speaking of weird, here’s a little something i recently ordered from Japan. It actually arrived a couple of weeks back, but I’m just now getting around to posting it. Sure, this guy doesn’t look too much out of the ordinary, but wait until you discover his little “secret.”

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Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure

So, what we have here is the second in a new series of Hokuto no Ken – Revolution figures. In America, Hokuto no Ken is better known as Fist of the NorthStar. This character is a apparently a member of the gang called Zeed (some bad guys from the series).

I am vaguely familiar with the Fist of the NorthStar series, but I’ve never been a fan of it. In fact, the only first-hand knowledge I ever had of the series was gathered in the old days of my playing Game Boy as a kid.

Fist of the Northstar Gameboy game

I had the mediocre Fist of the NorthStar fighting game. It was a pretty dull experience, but I really loved drawing the characters from the game booklet.

Well, if I knew then what I know now, I would’ve been even more disappointed in the game. From what I’ve recently gathered, Fist of the NorthStar is a Manga and Anime series that takes place in a post-apocalyptic world overrun by a bunch of bullies trying to take advantage of the weak and innocent. That’s where the main hero, Kenshiro, comes in. He’s your iconic, mysterious wanderer who comes into town, seeks out the trouble, and like most kung-fu movie heroes, he kicks ass.

Fist of the Northstar Manga and Anime

Well, maybe it’s not “ass kicking” as much as it is “face punching.”

Fist of the Northstar Anime

You see, Kenshiro has a gift. He can pummel the crap out of these bad guys which initially shows no effects… but a few seconds later, the bad guys’ bodies realize they have just been clobbered… which usually results in a spontaneous and gratuitous explosion of gore.

Check out this clip. It should make things a lot clearer for you.

That is where this toy’s secret comes in. Not only is he a decently poseable, post-apocalyptic gang member of Zeed…

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Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure

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Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure

… but he’s also a recent victim of Kenshiro…

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Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure

… which means he has an awesome-exploding-transformation action feature. Now kids can reenact the brutal demise of this Fist of the NorthStar baddy. Good times!

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Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure

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Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure

Rewatch that video clip, and pay attention at the 2:08 mark. I looks like a Zeed member explosion in action.

Isn’t this disgusting?

I love it.

Look at the details on this guy –

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Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure

- splattering blood and flailing spinal column

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Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure

- separate, broken ribs

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Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure

- flying intestines

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Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure

- punched-in head w/ brains oozing out

It doesn’t get any better than that.

Lemme share just a few more things. Like I mentioned before, this toy is a Japanese import, but I think it’s coming to the U.S. soon. If I’m not mistaken, it will be available Dec. 30, 2008 (I couldn’t wait that long. Plus, I wanted to show you guys).

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Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure

Once I received the toy, I was pretty excited. the figure is smaller and more light weight than I expected. I think it’s about 8″ tall with several swivel and ball joints. The figure  has a bunch of hinges too which are made to be loose. They come apart easily, but I think it’s just a safety precaution, so we don’t end up breaking the toy while transforming it. The figure also comes with a support stand (which i didn’t wanna use) and a bloody axe accessory.

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Fist of the Northstar - Zeed Gang Member Exploding Action Figure

One of the coolest things about the import is the box. It’s covered in a bunch of “gibberish” I don’t understand, but it looks cool. Plus, the box is re-closeable, which is great. Hopefully, the American release will do something similar for those that are “hard-core collectors” or whatever (I wasn’t really that worried about it).

So there you have it. The world’s first exploding action figure. It’s kind of like combining the fun of Transformers with the gore of McFarlane Toys figures. There should be a whole toyline of figures like this.

Transforming mutilation. That’s a bit sick isn’t it?