Weirdo Toys

Archive for the ‘Cute’ Category

Battle Babies by Brad Rader

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

I don’t even know where to begin with what I’m going to show you today.

You know what? I take that back. Described in a single word – “fun.”

Wait. I have more words…

As soon as I saw these toys, all I felt was joy, giddy-ness, surprise, anticipation. I literally laughed. You know if toys make you excited with laughter, they have to be worth something.

Let’s check ‘em out.

The beastly toys we have here are…

Double-Edged Dumplings & Cybear Vishnu

Unhumongous & Bullshot

Beano Bomber and Coptorilla

The Clobbler & Shankoppotamus

Afro Toddler & Count Tiger Gun

These guys are called Battle Babies! (Yep. You heard correctly – Battle-Freakin’-Babies.)

They are a bunch of well-armed animals piloted/ridden by BABIES! I have no clue how I’ve never seen these things before now, but I know I love ‘em.

They are probably just some weird, obscure vintage toyline that was produced as a knockoff of the Barnyard Commandos. (How have I missed these before now?)

First up, is Cybear Vishnu.
This guy means business.

Look at ‘im. He’s a freaky 8-legged monstrosity. At his core, he’s a bear, but it looks like he’s been merged with some weird humanoid with big blue arms coming out of his butt cheeks along with some robotic prosthetics on his shoulders. There’s a head in bowl in his belly. Is he the conjoined twin brother? This is freaky.

He’s wearing metallic underwear, big ol’ glasses, a set of samurai twin babies – The Double-Edged Dumplings… and he breathes fire.

Scary indeed.

Next we have Bullshot.
He’s just a bull with a big honkin’ gun on his back.

He seems to be fitted with a fluffy collar and tailfins. (maybe this guy can get airborne.)

And he’s piloted by The Unhumongous – the most evil-looking baby I’ve ever seen.

The scary metal face mask most definitely is hiding a freakishly-scarred visage he’s had all his life… all 9 months of it. Ha.

Next up? Coptorilla. Wow. A Gorilla helicopter!

This ape is equipped with goggles, shoulder pads, missiles and a functioning propeller. He’s ready for action… and it looks like he may want to play catch later too. (Check out his right hand.)

Beano Bomber, his baby pilot, looks pretty friendly. The makings of a good guy baby.

Here we have Shankoppotamus – a killer hippo (well, more killer than usual I guess).

So hippos are inherently mean and dangerous to begin with, but this guy regurgitates a sword. Sheez! And for long range attacks, he’s equipped with a big laser cannon. I never imagined hippos being so high-tech.

See that yellow blob on his head? I think that’s brain slug which is probably how the baby here keeps him under his control. and speaking of the baby…

Damn! Look at that fist. He’d clobber the crap out of you. Guess that’s why he’s called The Clobbler. (Looks like Fisto’s love child.)

Last but not least is Count Tiger Gun. This guy means business. Not only is he wielding a blade, but he has a gun barrel jutting out of his mouth… and he’s a vampire apparently.

Wow. Imagine being chased by a tiger. Scary, right? Well what if that tiger was undead and shooting/slicing at you as he chased you? Ha!

He’s wearing this black leather cape w/ silver studs. Kinda gothic

His baby, Afro Toddler, is interesting. He looks like an Asian baby with a big-ass afro. I’m sure he’s hiding grenades in there or something. He’s also toting around a big machine gun.

Man these babies really are ready for battle.

Unfortunately, I have a confession: These toys aren’t an actual toyline. They are customs made by a fellow weirdo toy lover.

This new legendary toyline all started with my newfound toy buddy, Brad Rader (who coincidentally is the husband of fellow geek blogger, Stacey “GeekyVixen” Rader).

Anyway, one day, Brad sent me a link to a collection of photos (below) spotlighting his “Battle Babies”

They are custom toys which are essentially kit bashes using random baby toys, animals toys and whole mess of various action figure accessories.

The thing that gets me is how perfectly suited each accessory is to the baby and to the beast.

So freakin’ great and well done.

You can buy Battle Babies at the GeekyVixen Etsy shop! If you end up with any in your collection, please share your impressions, pics, etc!

And remember… BABY POWER!!!

Tags: 80s, Animals, Barnyard Commandos, Battle Babies, Custom Toys
Posted in Animals, Bizarre, Custom, Cute, Goofy, Human? | 15 Comments »

Franken Toys by Rachel Peters

Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011

Now that I’m a dad, I know I need to be on the lookout for cool toys for my son. Thing is, at such a young age, he can’t play with bootleg He-man figures and stuff like that. I don’t see that much baby “weirdo” stuff out there.

That is until I found these.

Let me introduce you to Franken Toys – an Etsy shop full of repurposed toys designed by artist (and mad scientist), Rachel Peters.

To quote the site:

Franken Toys are a growing collection of rescued toys which have been dismembered only to be re-membered as a new piece of art. Every repurposed toy has been hand sewn and many have been intricately embroidered.
Adopt your favorite Franken Toy today. Each Franken is one of a kind.

I really love these. This is a twist on customized toys I haven’t seen yet. Such a simple and refreshing contrast to the designer vinyl scene. It’s genius I tell you.

What appeals to me so much is the fact that these aren’t not just random, strange creatures… these are freaky mash-ups of characters we all know and love. This makes them that much more striking… and charming.

Who wants a Kermit doll if you could have a freaky, double-reverse-head Kermit with removable body parts?

What better way to “spruce up” some old, forgotten dolls than by dismembering them and reattaching their body parts – creating half-breeds only seen in your children’s nightmares?

When you drop by her store, be sure not to miss the other weirdos Rachel has already sold.

Now a stop at any Goodwill in America could get you some great fodder for the next Franken Toy. I wonder if Rachel takes requests.

Tags: Dolls, Muppets, Sesame Street
Posted in Custom, Cute, Dolls, Weird | 6 Comments »

How to be a Bubbly Chubby Chaser

Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

I’d like to dedicate this “children’s toy themed” blog entry to my newborn son, Andrew. I’m new to this thing called fatherhood, but I’m loving every minute of it… well, that is until he’ll starts playing with my toys

Over a decade ago while I was in college, my brother, Jason, and I stumbled upon these odd figures at Wal-Mart. They were part of the humble beginnings of my weird toy fascination.

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I’m sure you recognize them.

You probably thought they were these guys, the Teletubbies.

Teletubbies

They do look a lot like Teletubbies (which I’m sure is absolutely intentional), but these are actually Bubbly Chubbies! (Pretty original name, huh?)

Sure. At first glance, these things are just odd-looking, androgynous aliens. That’s a bit off-putting in itself, but, as always, it gets stranger.

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Unbeknownst to us, all these years Jason and I have been in possession of some very rare artifacts. These toys aren’t around anymore, and I don’t mean they’re just old and forgotten – I mean they no longer exist.

Apparently, Ragdoll Productions Ltd., the creators of Teletubbies, weren’t too happy about Wal-Mart ripping off their ridiculously popular, money-making property and they were ordered by a federal court to recall and destroy all the Bubbly Chubbies toys. You might call it the “Bubbly Chubby holocaust.” I know it’s a bit morbid, but these toys are kinda like Holocaust survivors. (Damn. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to equate Survivors’ lives and struggles to some crummy knock off toys. I just needed to dramatize the scarcity of a weirdo toy). Get the full scoop in this New York Times article.

So, what we’ve got here is the same toy with four color variations – Blue, Violet, Pink and Yellow.

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It may be an accident in the toys’ design, but I love how the transparent eyeballs actually reveal the each Chubby’s color scheme. Kind of neat.

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And they’re all wearing wireless headphones. What’s up with that?

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I wonder what they’re listening to. Probably the Bananas in Pajamas theme song or something.

Oh yeah. Did you notice the trap doors on their backs? It’s where their batteries are stored. Why batteries, you ask?

To power their death stare of course.

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“YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND OH CHUBBY MASTER.”

A simple push of their literal belly button, and you unleash the hypnotic death stare of the unassuming Bubbly Chubbies.

Yeah, these are a pretty blatant ripoff, but I’m glad the toy designers had the foresight to integrate the typical LED red laser into these knockoffs… and I’m especially glad they put them in their eye sockets.

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I just don’t know whether they’re supposed to hypnotize me or turn me to stone. Either way, I know not to look them in the eye.

Tags: teletubbies knockoffs
Posted in Creepy, Cute, TV and Movies | 15 Comments »

Happy Smurfoween!

Friday, October 29th, 2010

Typically when I hear the word “Smurf” as it relates to the word “Halloween,” I imagine something disturbing like this:

Smurf Halloween Costumes
Smurf costume photo courtesy of Unreality Magazine.

But now, thanks to Schleich, I can now picture this:

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Ya know, I never thought I’d see the day when I’d put Smurf PVC figures on my site, but when I discovered these guys a few years ago, I knew their presence here was inevitable.

These aren’t just any smurfs, they’re the outcasts of Smurf Village. When you cross those cute, little, blue guys with classic horror icons, you get an awesome amalgamation of cute and creepy.

Here we have seven Halloween-inspired smurfs depicted as a vampire, mummy, werewolf, jack-o-lantern, grim reaper, Frankenstein’s monster and a ghost. (There’s actually a Smurfette Witch in the collection as well. I don’t like her, so I didn’t get her… so sue me.)

These figures are usually referred to by their serial numbers, so I’ve taken on the task of naming them.

Count Smurfula
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“Bleh! I vant to smurf your blood.”

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First up is Count Smurfula. He’s an awesome interpretation of the formal, vampire look. The cape, bow, belt and cuffs are all a great way to accessorize a topless smurf’s outfit… and those fangs look pretty fierce too.

Mummy Smurf
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“Wrap it up. I’ll smurf it.”

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Next is Mummy Smurf. He doesn’t look to old or dried out, but I love his creepy, blood-red eye. I also like how the bandages are unraveling to emulate to the topless smurf design. Looks like they’ve even wrapped his hat.

Weresmurf
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“Holy smurf! It’s a full moon tonight.”

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Here we have Weresmurf. What’s cool about this guy is the fact that he’s a furry smurf. That’s pretty rare. He has claws. I didn’t even know smurfs had fingernails. Oh yeah, and he has a belt. That’s bizarre in Smurf world.

Smurf-O-Lantern
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Next is Smurf-O-Lantern. This guy looks to be a regular ol’ smurf with a jack-o-lantern plopped on his head. His hat and body are generic. It’s his monstrous pumpkin head that makes him so great. Wonder if that’s Jokey Smurf under there.

Grim Smurfer
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(Don’t Smurf) The Reaper

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This next guy is a bit weird. He’s the Grim Smurfer – complete with scythe. He actually looks like a smurf wearing a Halloween costume. It’s due to the fact that his body is simply a suit with bones painted on it. A skeleton body smurf would’ve be amazing though. He would’ve looked like an Underworld Warrior.

Frankensmurf
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He’s one scarred-up mother-smurfer.

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This guys’ great. It’s Frankensmurf. He’s really unique in that he’s got a big block head, bolts, colored pants and a vest (A VEST! his upper torso is actually covered. Wild!) Oh yeah, and check out those platform shoes.

Poltersmurf
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“I ain’t afraid of no smurf!” (poltersmurf that is)

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This last guy is kind of scary. I’ll call him Poltersmurf. Sure, he’s a simple smurf with a sheet over him, but look how pissed he is. The rest of these guys look mischevious but fun. This guy looks like he really wants to hurt you. Luckily, he’s being held back by a ball and chain. (Strange. Seems like a ghost wouldn’t be held back by that kind of thing.)

What I love about these guys is how outwardly monstrous and unique their designs are while straying true to the Smurf design. They aren’t just mild variations of the generic smurf (Ya know… a smurf holding a jack-o-lantern or some crap like that). These are nice, uniquely sculpted monstrous incarnations of everyone’s favorite little blue guys. Now you have no reason to not have Smurf toys on your desk.

(Unfortunately, these Halloween Smurf designs were retired in December of 2008, but I think you can still find them fairly easily online if you want them.)

Happy Halloween folks, and happy haunting!

Tags: 80s cartoons, halloween, PVC figurine, smurfs
Posted in Cartoons, Comics, Cute, Monsters | 19 Comments »

Weepy the Wee-Wee

Sunday, May 2nd, 2010

So, a couple of weeks ago, I was actually in South Africa visiting with my wife and some of her family (they’re all Afrikaners). We were all super-busy and touristy out there, but I did have one day dedicated to toy shopping (thanks Monty and Alec). I hit up a bunch of antique shops and toy stores. I didn’t find much, but here’s a little something I definitely want to show you.

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It’s Weepy the Wee-Wee!

I’ve seen this guy here and there at flea markets over the years, but according to the shop owner I bought this from, this one is from the 40s.

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I think I believe her. It does look like a vintage/antique Weepy. He has a better color scheme and paint job than the more modern reproductions.

Weepy the Wee-Wee

It appears that Weepy just gets re-released with new packaging and new color schemes every once in a while.

I have no clue who makes Weepy or where he comes from. I’m not sure of how long he’s been around, and I’m not even sure if Weepy is his original name. (Can anyone help me out with this?)

For those unfamiliar with Weepy, he’s basically a cute little kid with an innocent (yet sly) look on his face. Looks like he’s hiding something.

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Oh no!

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Wait!

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He’s peeing on everything!!

I never thought I’d own a urinating toy.

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Yep. Simply fill Weepy’s base/reservoir with water, pull down his shorts, and voila – the cutest, little urine stream you’ve ever seen in a toy.

Here’s Weepy in action.

As you might have noticed, this toy is pretty old and kinda cruddy.

He has stains and aged glue where some previous owner has made lame repair attempts. His pee action still works, but it’s a bit weak (I hear that happens with age).

While searching for info for Weepy, I came across a really disturbing version of him.

Weepy the Wee-Wee

This Weepy definitely doesn’t have the charm of the original Weepy.
He’s got his hands in his pockets, and he’s wearing shorts over his pants. Weird.

Tags: Antique, Pee, Toy, Wee-Wee
Posted in Antique, Cute, Funny, Used & Abused | 24 Comments »

Archive for the ‘Cute’ Category

Battle Babies by Brad Rader

Franken Toys by Rachel Peters

How to be a Bubbly Chubby Chaser

Happy Smurfoween!

Weepy the Wee-Wee

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