Weirdo Toys

Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

Weird Ball – “Runnin’ Ralph”

Monday, December 10th, 2007

Well, well, well. If it isn’t another Weird Ball figure by Mel Appel and Crayart. If you don’t remember Weird Ball cards or figures, don’t fret. I had no idea what they were either, until I managed to shed some light on the subject in my previous entry about “None Chuck.” And just like our little ninja friend, Runnin’ Ralph is a tad “politically incorrect” (exactly what he should be).

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If this toy was to be produced today it would have… um… well… it just couldn’t exist. You know, with it’s being a depiction of a sweaty, gluttonous (I only call him that cuz he’s running with his hoagie), middle-aged, obese white jogger, puffing on a cigarette. If a jogger toy did exist today, it would be some lame toy line made up of a team of joggers with “running-legs” action activated by squeezing their arms like the old Super Powers toys. There’d be six of them probably – males and females depicting each racial skin tone, and they’d be called “The Cardio Crew” or worse yet, “The Six Pack,” and their trainer would most likely be in a wheelchair.

Hmmm. Sounds like the makings of a Mr. Slim Goodbody toyline.

Mr. Slim Goodbody

Anyway, I’d also like to mention that these Weird Ball toys are disturbingly flat.

He’s pretty slim for a fat man.

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Here’s the Runnin’ Ralph trading card this toy is based on. The artwork’s not bad at all. Wonder what the heck happened to the figure.

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Posted in Cards, Food, Funny, Human? | 3 Comments »

Humpty Dumpty

Friday, October 5th, 2007

So, this is the 3rd and last toy I found at the White Horse Road Flea Market last Sunday. One of the vendors had a stack of these things selling them for a buck each. They were actually produced in 1986. It turned out to be an 80s toy weekend.

It’s Humpty Dumpty!
He’s not as cute as I remembered. He looks a bit freaky. Maybe even maniacal.

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So, the Humpty Dumpty was peculiar enough, but it was the unique box that sold it to me. Just look at this thing.

At first glance it looks like any old Playskool toy. Ya know, the blue/red striping, the red logo, etc.

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Waitaminit! It’s made by Krypton? Isn’t that Superman’s home planet?
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Wow! You know you’re in bad shape if your hoping to score some sales by ripping off Playskool.

Another great thing about this package are the funny product “callouts.”

“Now with ‘Had a Great Fall!’ Action!”
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You know how much kids love learning to save money.
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“And You ‘CAN’ Put Him Back Together Again…” if you feel inclined….
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And I just love this encouraging instruction sheet. At the end, it reads: Remember puzzles are not supposed to be simple. “So if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”
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Well, looks simple enough. I hope the kids learn something.

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Just for kicks, here’s a unique perspective of Humpty Dumpty by Ricky Gervais:

Posted in Food, Nursery Rhymes, Puzzle | 2 Comments »

Georgie Porgie

Monday, October 1st, 2007

So, yesterday, I went to the White Horse Road Flea Market along with my friends Chris and Duane (some comic and toy buddies of mine). I’d been to this place a few times over the years and I never really found anything that moved me, but lo and behold, I found something (It wasn’t just another happy meal toy either. It was actually something I’ve been LOOKING for!).

I found the toy in one of the first rows of tables I walked by. I saw an older man sitting alone at a table (narrows it down doesn’t it?), He was just selling old tools or magazines or whatever-the-hell, but among the clutter I saw a little figure calling out to me. I approached the table for closer inspection and picked up the figure. The man insisted that i was holding a Fat Albert toy. “You remember the cartoon?” he asked. Yeah, I remember… and this was not Fat Albert.

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I knew better. Much to my surprise, I had miraculously found another one of those freaky 1987 Skilcraft figures (I found that big-lipped guy 6 or 7 years ago maybe, and I thought I’d never see anything like it again).

Again, I have no clue what these weird, gross characters are, but now that I’ve found two of them, maybe I can piece some things together. They seemed to be mouth or eating related. This guy obviously loves pie. it’s crammed into his face and he even has his hands full of it. I’m not really sure what the white fish emblem on his shirt is. A Whale? Moby Dick perhaps?

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