Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

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Santa Claus by Kohner Bros.

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

Hey folks! Merry Christmas! (I would say “Happy Holidays,” but I don’t feel like being politically correct today.)

Don’t worry, all you non-Christmasy types. I’m only focusing on the commercial side of the holiday. That’s right –Santa Claus!

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Santa Push Pupper

Wow, this isn’t the jolly ol’ Santa we all know and love. This looks more like the homeless, mentally disturbed Santa we’ve always feared.

All the signs are there – wandering eye, disheveled clothes, bloody nose. Damn. Looks like he’s been stumbling through the streets of the North Pole for well over a week.

He is the perfect stocking stuffer for the weird toy lover in your family (who is probably you).

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Santa Push Pupper Santa Push Pupper

What we have here is a vintage Santa Claus Push Puppet by Kohler Bros. I think it was released in the 1960s. (No wonder Santa looks like hell. He’s been lost on the Island of Misfit Toys for the past 40+ years.)

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Santa Push Pupper

I’m sure you’ve seen toys like this before. For those unfamiliar with push puppets, they are basically miniature, marionette-type of toys whose segmented body parts are held together by string which is tied taut to a solid platform encased in a cylindrical base.

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Santa Push Pupper

Once you “push” on the platform inside the toy’s base, it releases the tension of the string, resulting in the sporadic movement of the character. If given enough pressure, all of the body parts will fall limp.

Sheesh. That written description of a push puppet was a bit overkill. I think a quick video will more quickly express what I’m talking about.

Merry Christmas folks! Enjoy your food, drink, family, friends and whatever else it is that you do. I hope Santa leaves something weird in your stocking.

• Buy Push Puppets on eBay!

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Posted in Funny, Human?, Puppets, Used & Abused | 8 Comments »

DC Comics Antique Cake Toppers

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

Alright, let’s see what we’ve got this time.

DC Cake Toppers

Oh yes – freaky, little chubby men dressed as some of DC Comics’ most iconic superheroes.

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Superman Superman

Superman

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Batman Batman

Batman…

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Robin Robin

Robin…

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Captain Marvel Captain Marvel

… and Captain Marvel (who some folks call “Shazam”).

No matter how horrible they may be, you have to admit, these characters are immediately recognizable. Is that because they have classic, well-designed costumes?

Nah.

The characters have just been around for so long, their colors and patterns are burned into our brains. You could put a chimpanzee in blue and red pajamas, and I’m sure everyone would say he’s Superchimp. (Even without the logo.)

Superchimp
Superchimp photo courtesy of BigStockPhoto.com.

Anyway, back to my point. These are some ugly-ass toys, but they’re great. It’s their superbly poor production values that make these things so unique and interesting.

I actually picked ‘em up at a toy show several months back. These lil’ guys have no markings at all, but the dealer I bought ‘em from says they’re cake-toppers from the 60s.

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Batman

Cake toppers, huh?

I dunno. Seems like a possibility I guess. They do have holes on the bottom for you to conveniently cram a candle up their butts.

How would you feel if you saw these things on your birthday cake? I’d be excited ;)

Superman
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Superman Cake Topper Superman Cake Topper Superman Cake Topper

Batman
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Batman Cake Topper Batman Cake Topper Batman Cake Topper

Robin
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Robin Cake Topper Robin Cake Topper Robin Cake Topper

Captain Marvel
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Captain Marvel Cake Topper Captain Marvel Cake Topper Captain Marvel Cake Topper

I have no clue who made these things or even if they’re even official merchandise released by DC Comics.

As I stated early, they are just bizarre, “not-quite-right” 2.25″ versions of some of our favorite superheroes. So what if they are just cheap (actually, they were a tad costly), little pieces of crap. They are fun.

I’m pretty sure any kind of licensed DC Comics cake topper (or any toy for that matter) produced today would be generic and more strictly follow a model sheet or standards guide. It would probably look something like this.

Superman Cake
Superman Cake Topper photo courtesy of CelebrateExpress.com.

Where’s the fun in that? That guy actually looks kinda like Superman. Lame :D

On a side note – while researching these cake toppers, I came across some more mini statues that were very, very similar to what I’ve shown you (if not the original versions these pieces were based on).

Superhero Pencil Toppers

These Capt. Marvel and Robin toys were actually listed as rubber pencil toppers on Gasoline Alley Antiques website and were made in Hong Kong in 1970. I actually found the Batman figurine in Reis O’Brien’s (of Geek Orthodox fame) About.com’s “Batman collection” article. His is supposedly made in China, and it has a completely different look as well.

My mini superhero cake toppers are hard plastic (maybe even very hard sugar?). They have no markings at all, and they’re painted a lot more haphazardly.

Any ideas?

• Buy DC mini figures on eBay!

Posted in Cartoons, Comics, Funny, Human?, Superhero | 9 Comments »

The Logs That Could’ve Been

Thursday, March 5th, 2009

Hey! It turns out, there were potentially gonna be more LOG figures out there for us toy collecting types. Here’s a look at a bunch of goofy LOG prototypes by Palisades on sale in Corndog Collectibles’ eBay Store. (Thanks to Krakit for the tip.)

They’re great. Check ‘em out. Heck, if you have enough money, maybe you should buy one (I swear Corndog Collectibles didn’t put me up to this :D )

Alien Log
It's Log!
• Buy the Alien Log on eBay!

Baby-Wet-Myself Log
LOG
• Buy the Baby-Wet-Myself Log on eBay!

Electro-Log
LOG
• Buy the Electro-Log on eBay!

Cheerleader Log
LOG
• Buy the Cheerleader Log on eBay!

Log of Arabia
LOG
• Buy the Log of Arabia on eBay!

Sports Star Log
LOG
• Buy the Sports Star Log on eBay!

Radioactive Log
LOG

Mega Log
LOG
• Buy the Mega Log on eBay!

Yule Log
LOG
• Buy the Yule Log on eBay!

Posted in Cartoons, Funny, Prototypes | 9 Comments »

Bad scupltor, you are.

Wednesday, February 6th, 2008

I’ve just been informed of a great new article by Zach Oat at Topless Robot where he illustrates how off-the-mark some Star Wars toys’ actors likenesses have been. They’re so far off, in fact, they actually look just like completely different celebrities.

They’re pretty funny. Here’s a small sampling (be sure to read the article if you want to see them all).

Slave Leia as Christian Bale
Christian Bale as Princess Leia

Malakili as Denholm Elliot
Denholm Elliot as Malakili

It’d be great if these were intentional, but it looks like the sculptors need to find another day job.

Posted in Bizarre, Funny, TV and Movies | 8 Comments »

Rub-a-Dub-Dub 2 Clauses in a Tub

Sunday, December 23rd, 2007

I recently realized I don’t have any weird Christmas-themed toys lying around, so yesterday, I decided to go on a search for something odd to feature on the blog. I really had no idea where to start. Luckily, a friend of mine recommended a place filled with all kinds of random crap – Wilsons 5¢ and $1.00 (typically known as Wilson’s 5¢ and 10¢). Once there, I dug around a bit, rummaging through some stuff you might expect – snowman rubber duckies, reindeer with light-up noses, santa bobble-heads, etc. I was a bit disappointed. There was some “cute” stuff but not a damned thing that I’d consider a “weirdo toy.”

On my way out, I walked by a stack of boxes that presented a disturbing sight. At a glance, I didn’t know what I’d seen. I just knew I’d seen Santa’s nipples, and it seemed very, very wrong (That’s a good first step to being a weirdo toy). On closer inspection, i saw Santa and Mrs. Claus bathing together. This may be the first time we’ve seen this couple so scantily clad. Not your typical holiday scenario. This seemed a bit wrong too (Hmm. A good second step to being a weirdo toy). I picked up the toy and found its power switch. Once activated I realized this wasn’t just a weird half-naked depiction of Mr. and Mrs. Claus bathing together, but it was a sound-activated, singing and dancing, half-naked Mr. and Mrs. Claus (Okay, that’s it! This is now a weirdo toy). Well, only Santa actually sings. And of course, he’s singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”

Santa Claus is Coming to Town
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Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub - Animatronic Toy - Action Novelty Corp.

Here’s a look at Mr. and Mrs. Claus in action.

With every gyrating pulse, Santa leans back and forth toward the vibrating Mrs. Claus, accentuating the freaky, rubbery folds of skin that move and flex over the animatronics. It’s slightly disturbing and maybe even a bit perverse, but I think it’s hilarious.

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Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub - Animatronic Toy - Action Novelty Corp.

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Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub - Animatronic Toy - Action Novelty Corp. Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub - Animatronic Toy - Action Novelty Corp.

I’m curious to know why Santa’s belly button is so red and inflamed. It really looks infected. Disgusting. And those bubbles look like weird growths.

The box reads: “Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub: Mr. & Mrs. Santa Sing and Swing in the Bathtub.” It was produced by Action Novelty Corp. I couldn’t find any info about the company, but it looks like this isn’t the only Christmas toy they’ve produced.

“Mr. & Mrs. Santa Sing and Swing in the Bathtub”
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Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub - Animatronic Toy - Action Novelty Corp.

Well, we now know that even Santa is naughty sometimes. I just hope this disturbing sight of St. Nick hasn’t ruined Christmas for you. Merry Christmas Everybody!

Posted in Bizarre, Funny, Holiday, Human?, Musical | 7 Comments »

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