Archive for the ‘Human?’ Category

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WWLJD – What Would Lil’ Jesus Do?

Friday, March 21st, 2008

Jesus is back!

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Squatty Jesus Toy

Only he’s 2 feet shorter?! What the heck?

I picked up this little Jesus from the Dollar Tree a long time ago. He was one of a series of biblical figures (maybe I’ll feature the other ones some other day). All of them were squatty for some reason (that’s pretty much why I bought ‘em… cuz they were just so goofy looking).

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Squatty Jesus Toy

He’s returned with a mullet now too? C’mon!

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Squatty Jesus Toy

Each figure also came with a small plastic sheet with an illustration on it (kind of a cheapy version of a diorama).

I wish I still had the sheets, because Jesus’ “scene” depicted a few infamous scenarios. First, there was his tomb with a huge boulder rolled away. But what made it great was the fact that right outside the tomb there was a saw horse with a hand saw and wood… you know.. depicting the fact that he was a carpenter (good to know he had such a committed work ethic… getting right to work after rising from the dead). And lastly, there was a little basket full of loaves of bread and bundles of fish (in case he’s hungry after all that wood cutting). If I miraculously find Jesus’ little diorama sheet, I’ll post it here.

Anyway, I hope you all have a safe and happy Easter weekend. Enjoy your friends and family, and thanks for dropping by to read the blog before your obligatory church visit ;)

Happy Easter!

INFO UPDATE :

Holy moley! I was going through some boxes recently and I stumbled upon that little plastic sheet scenery I had mentioned earlier. I thought I’d lost it.

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Jesus action figure with landscape

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Jesus Landscape

I see my memory of the scene was a bit inaccurate. Turns out I had mistaken the “loaves and fishes” story with the “water to wine” story… which actually makes the scene even funnier. It’s complete with pond, chalice and wine bottle. Now it looks like Jesus rose from the tomb, did a bit of woodworking and finished up by pouring himself a drink.

One thing I didn’t recall from the scene was the dark, looming shadow of the cross. Kinda creepy.

Lastly, there’s some legal info on the scenery sheet that can give us a bit of insight to where this toy is from. The legal copy reads: “Licensed by BuyProduct, Inc. Merrick, NY 11566 Made in China.” I wasn’t able to find anything new.

Posted in Cute, Holiday, Human?, Religious | 11 Comments »

Generic, Two-Faced Barbarian

Saturday, March 8th, 2008

Like so many other generic hero toys produced through the years, this figure was a badly-executed ripoff of the iconic 80s toyline, Masters of the Universe (unfortunately, I don’t know the name of this character or the toyline he comes from… sorry folks).

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Generic 2-faced Barbarian Figure Generic 2-faced Barbarian Figure

He’s pretty crummy. If they’d ripped off the molds from the source, he could look a little better, but that would’ve robbed him of his charm. I think it’s his absurdly swollen, plump muscles that make his appearance that much more comedic (not to mention his stumpy, blue arms and legs, silver torso with pink starburst designs and the goofy-looking horned helmet). Sure, this toy’s ugliness appealed to me, but I think it was the slightly higher thinking of the toy designer and manufacturer that delighted me even more. There are tons of generic He-Man ripoffs out there, but this little toy series featured ugly barbarian guys with spinning heads with a human face on one side and a monster face on the opposite side. Pretty cool for a Dollar Tree toy.

We’ve established this generic, dual-personality barbarian isn’t a He-Man figure or anything, but he does look like he could be the distant cousin of Man-E-Faces. (Remember Man-E-Faces? Who could forget him? He’s the guy with the spinning faces to reveal a man, a robot and a monster).

Man-E-Faces
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Masters of the Universe - Man-E-Faces Masters of the Universe Man-E-Faces spinning face

I think I’ll call this barbarian guy Cup-L-Faces. That seems appropriate. He can be one of those low-budget monsters that Skeletor makes (first Faker, now this).

Cup-L-Faces
Barbarian spinning head with monster and human faces Cup-L-Faces vs. Man-E-Faces

I know you’re wondering “what makes him a bad guy?” Well, if the evil monster on the back of his head doesn’t convince you, there’s the tell-tale blood spatter on his cheek and lip. That’s hard core. No He-Man figure has that. That’s a sure sign he’s a killer.

Posted in Cartoons, Human?, Monsters, Superhero | 11 Comments »

You’ve come a long way, Baby New Year!

Sunday, December 30th, 2007

Well, it’s that time again. Time to start a new year! What better way to get fired up for 2008 than to light one up with Baby New Year!

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Ceramic Smoking Baby Ceramic Smoking Baby

Alright, maybe this isn’t exactly the cuddly, newborn Baby New Year you’ve always imagined (something disturbs me about the back of his head). This is actually the ceramic Smoking Baby by Accoutrements. It’s pretty simple. This little fella is a smoking baby that comes packaged with his own mini pack of Lucky Monkey cigarettes (really just small sticks of unscented incense wrapped in paper).

“What? These things can stunt my growth?”
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Ceramic Smoking Baby Lucky Monkey Cigarettes

When the baby’s “cigarette” is lit, it actually makes for a pretty convincing visual. I couldn’t do it justice in this video, but the cigarette has the little cherry tip, flowing smoke and everything. Nice. To spice things up, he’s accompanied by the comic stylings of comedy legend Bill Hicks. So, listen to what Bill has to say about smoking, and see this baby suck the cigarette down to its filter.

I’m not really a fan of smoking, but I do hope you all have a smokin’ new year (Yeah. Corny. I know.). Happy New Year folks!

Posted in Bizarre, Human? | 2 Comments »

Rub-a-Dub-Dub 2 Clauses in a Tub

Sunday, December 23rd, 2007

I recently realized I don’t have any weird Christmas-themed toys lying around, so yesterday, I decided to go on a search for something odd to feature on the blog. I really had no idea where to start. Luckily, a friend of mine recommended a place filled with all kinds of random crap – Wilsons 5¢ and $1.00 (typically known as Wilson’s 5¢ and 10¢). Once there, I dug around a bit, rummaging through some stuff you might expect – snowman rubber duckies, reindeer with light-up noses, santa bobble-heads, etc. I was a bit disappointed. There was some “cute” stuff but not a damned thing that I’d consider a “weirdo toy.”

On my way out, I walked by a stack of boxes that presented a disturbing sight. At a glance, I didn’t know what I’d seen. I just knew I’d seen Santa’s nipples, and it seemed very, very wrong (That’s a good first step to being a weirdo toy). On closer inspection, i saw Santa and Mrs. Claus bathing together. This may be the first time we’ve seen this couple so scantily clad. Not your typical holiday scenario. This seemed a bit wrong too (Hmm. A good second step to being a weirdo toy). I picked up the toy and found its power switch. Once activated I realized this wasn’t just a weird half-naked depiction of Mr. and Mrs. Claus bathing together, but it was a sound-activated, singing and dancing, half-naked Mr. and Mrs. Claus (Okay, that’s it! This is now a weirdo toy). Well, only Santa actually sings. And of course, he’s singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”

Santa Claus is Coming to Town
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Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub - Animatronic Toy - Action Novelty Corp.

Here’s a look at Mr. and Mrs. Claus in action.

With every gyrating pulse, Santa leans back and forth toward the vibrating Mrs. Claus, accentuating the freaky, rubbery folds of skin that move and flex over the animatronics. It’s slightly disturbing and maybe even a bit perverse, but I think it’s hilarious.

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Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub - Animatronic Toy - Action Novelty Corp.

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Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub - Animatronic Toy - Action Novelty Corp. Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub - Animatronic Toy - Action Novelty Corp.

I’m curious to know why Santa’s belly button is so red and inflamed. It really looks infected. Disgusting. And those bubbles look like weird growths.

The box reads: “Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub: Mr. & Mrs. Santa Sing and Swing in the Bathtub.” It was produced by Action Novelty Corp. I couldn’t find any info about the company, but it looks like this isn’t the only Christmas toy they’ve produced.

“Mr. & Mrs. Santa Sing and Swing in the Bathtub”
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Mr. & Mrs. Santa in the Bathtub - Animatronic Toy - Action Novelty Corp.

Well, we now know that even Santa is naughty sometimes. I just hope this disturbing sight of St. Nick hasn’t ruined Christmas for you. Merry Christmas Everybody!

Posted in Bizarre, Funny, Holiday, Human?, Musical | 8 Comments »

Go-Go Gadget Toy!

Thursday, December 20th, 2007

It’s everyone’s favorite mechanical crime fighter (other than Robocop)! Here we have an old 12″ Inspector Gadget by Galoob dated 1983.

Go-Go Gadget Copter!
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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983 Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

For those who don’t remember Inspector Gadget, I’ll try to sum him up quickly. It was an 80s cartoon inspired by the old spy show, Get Smart. The show starred a clumsy, absent-minded, and oblivious detective, Inspector Gadget – a cop with various gadgets built into his anatomy. Gadget spent most of his time trying to stop his nemesis – the mysterious Dr. Claw, leader of the evil organization, MAD.

There’s a bit more to the show, but I’m not going to bother you with every little detail.

I just happened upon the Inspector Gadget “action doll” at a toy show months ago. I never even knew this toy existed, but as soon as I saw him, I knew I had to have him. I just love the playability of this toy and the absolutely appropriate and accurate accessories included with it. He has “8 magic features and 20 moving parts.”

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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

Just look at all he has to offer:

  1. He looks perfect. Looks like he just stepped out of the cartoon
  2. 12 inches tall
  3. 20 points of articulation
  4. Firing Hand and Pop-out Hand
  5. Pop-Out Legs
  6. Fabric Trench Coat
  7. Helicopter Hat
  8. Huge Cartoony Mallet
  9. Working Handcuffs (to cuff the fake arm in Dr. Claws’ chair I guess)
  10. Hat Extension Arm
  11. Parachute Umbrella

Go-Go Gadget Legs!
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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

Go-Go Gadget Neck!
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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

Go-Go Gadget Hands!
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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

Go-Go Gadget ‘Brella!
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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

Go-Go Gadget… Cuffs?!
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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

Told you he was great. Only bad thing is, he has no one else to arrest. I guess he could always cuff Barbie. “Go-Go Gadget… nevermind.”

Wowzers!
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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

If that isn’t enough for you, check this truly unforgettable intro. Careful though. The song may be a bit too catchy.

INFO UPDATE:

Over the months I’ve noticed that the Inspector Gadget doll I featured here isn’t the same one I’ve seen online and on eBay and everywhere else. At first glance they are pretty much the same, but in a few moments, you’ll see that things are definitely much different.

Slim-Box Gadget
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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

First, let’s start with the doll’s box. I’m not sure whether this package version appeared first or second, but as you can see, it’s a slimmer, condensed version of the box pictured in my original entry above. It does have an extending flap that makes it appear wider. Not quite sure why they included that, because it seems like that panel would block any other Gadget dolls or other merchandise from being seen on the store shelves.

Straight-Arm Gadget
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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

Second, let’s look at his arms. This is something I’d noticed most whenever i found images of the Gadget doll online. The most common version is this straight-armed version. This lack of elbow, bicep and shoulder articulation really makes Gadget appear stiff and awkward. He can’t bend his elbows to comfortably hold his Gadget-Copter. To accommodate this new awkward hand position, Galoob altered the design of the Helicopter-Hat accessory. The handlebars are much more narrow, short and they protrude in front of him.

Gadget Accessories
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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

Third are his accessories. Both Gadget dolls come with the same accessories, but the pink items that come with with the “Straight-Arm Gadget” are much more vibrant and saturated. Also, as you can see here, his handcuffs are a dull gray plastic instead of the metallic-coated plastic of the original Gadget.

Gadget Arms & Legs
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Inspector Gadget Action Doll by Galoob 1983

And last and probably least are his activation buttons. The “Straight-Arm Gadget” has blue buttons instead of yellow. It doesn’t really matter, but I though I’d point that out. I actually like the blue better, because they match the color of his Gadget-Neck.

If anyone has info on which of these versions is the original and has any explanation for these differences, please let me know. Hey. Maybe this “Straight-Arm Gadget” is the original. The other one could be the updated one… ya know… kinda like “swivel-arm battle grip” being introduced to the G.I.Joe toys.

* VINTAGE INSPECTOR GADGET PVC FIGURES 1983 GALOOB MINT
US $4.99 (0 Bid)
End Date: Wednesday May-23-2012 19:58:16 PDT
Buy It Now for only: US $8.00
Bid now | Buy it now | Add to watch list

1992 Tiger Toys Inspector Gadget Go, Go Gadget Snap-Open Hat! Figure w/Cardback
US $7.99 (0 Bid)
End Date: Monday May-21-2012 11:01:05 PDT
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1 RARE HTF COMPLETE INSPECTOR GADGET COLLECTABLE ACTION FIGURE , " SOLD AS IS "
US $39.99 (0 Bid)
End Date: Wednesday May-23-2012 8:15:19 PDT
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Inspector Gadget Transforming Gadget Mobile Car With Figure (Loose) By Tiger
US $299.99
End Date: Wednesday Jun-13-2012 5:41:45 PDT
Buy It Now for only: US $299.99
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VINTAGE LOT OF 6 MIXED ACTION FIGURES BRUCE LEE INSPECTOR GADGET RIDDLER SPACE
US $1.99 (0 Bid)
End Date: Friday May-18-2012 18:50:08 PDT
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Posted in Cartoons, Human?, Robots, Superhero, Used & Abused | 51 Comments »

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