Wow. Over the weekend, I discovered this awesome music video (thanks Brad) for Zombie Zombie’s “Driving This Road Until Death Sets You Free” song. I don’t know a thing about the band, but I’m in love with this video.
Stop motion vintage G.I. Joe… in the antarctic… fighting zombies.
What’s not to love?
This is a perfectly executed homage to John Carpenter’s “The Thing.”
I’m thinking this music video may be better than the latest G.I. Joe movie.
Thanks for watching.
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In mid-April, I made a little trip out to Chicago to meet up with some friends/colleagues of mine for the Wax Trax! Restrospectacle. For those out of the loop Wax Trax! Records is a long-gone, legendary industrial rock record label which originated in Chicago. A bunch of the original artists on the label came together for a limited 3-day show at the Metro, I was lucky enough to attend (Thanks Brent and Patrick).
(Here’s a “popular” Revolting Cocks cover from back in the day – “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy.”)
Sure, the weekend involved great music, camaraderie and deep-dish pizza, but as we all know, that’s not why you’re reading this blog entry.
All you guys want is toys. I can hear you asking now – “What about the toys?” “Any cool toys?” “What the hell does this have to do with toys?”
Well, as luck would have it, (and thanks to some of my Twitter followers), I was tipped off to some pretty cool toy places to visit while in Chicago. The two stores which piqued my interest most were Quake Collectibles and Rotofugi. As you’ll soon see, they may both be in the toy world, but they truly seem worlds apart.
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First stop was Quake Collectibles. My buddies and I actually arrived just before store opening. That was the perfect way for me to announce “I’m a toy dork who cannot wait for this store to open.” Hey, I’m not ashamed. As we waited outside, I was already getting antsy. I tried peaking through the front windows, but they were so crammed full of random crap, I couldn’t see in. Window toy clutter – this was gonna be my kind of place.
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After several minutes (which seemed a lot longer on a cold, rainy Chicago day) we finally stepped in, and let me just say. I was floored. Sooo much crap everywhere. Every inch of that place is covered by a poster, a sticker, a toy or a lunchbox. If your mom threw it away when you were a kid, it probably ended up here.
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I love places like this. There’s just so much stuff, you have to just stand in awe and inspect every millimeter. Some may find it overwhelming or annoying, because you may miss something, but I find it charming. It kind of reminds me of an episode of Hoarders… featuring the homes of some toy collectors.
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Oh yeah. So among all the clutter, I didn’t actually find much that I was looking for, but I did manage to pick up some “bargain bin” figures – a wrestler manager figure James bond Jr.’s “Oddjob.” that “Dinosaur Neil” guy from The Tick, “Bob the Goon” from the Batman movie toyline and the haunted Mailman from The Real Ghostbusters.
I actually left Quake saddened and confused. The store was so great and I was thrilled to be in there, yet I found so little. I think it’s all due to my tastes in toys. They’ve become too discriminatory or something. Well, that feeling left quickly as we continued on to Rotofugi, (on foot) through a pretty chilly, windy day. I don’t know if we were being dumb for not calling a cab, or just cheap… but at least we got some exercise.
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Next stop on the toy express was Rotofugi. As soon as I laid eyes on it, I knew this place was pretty much the complete opposite of Quake (well, aeshetically anyway).
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For example, their walls were glass with a handful of HUGE figures on display. Statues basically.
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And once you walk in, it’s pretty clear that this is so much more spacious, clean, crisp and bright retail environment.
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Not only that, but it has a small art gallery attached displaying various paintings and custom toys. The market for these toys weren’t random comic geeks looking to find a vintage Jawa w/ plastic robe… This is the place where some artist will rip off a Jawa, paint it neon pink and ask $75 for it. Ha! Seriously though, this seems to be Chicago’s home for designer toys. They present toys as art. Which is cool… just don’t expect to find any bargain bins.
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The store is spacious and organized and feels very much like a gallery. This presentation really does sell “toy as art” really well. but there are tons of little toys to check out from some of your favorite designer toy companies and artists. I didn’t get much here either, because all the figures I liked were $60+. I really loved so much of the creatures/characters on the shelves. (If only Weirdo Toys had a financial backer.) They are just so quirky and fun.
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Aren’t they beautiful.
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I, of course, passed on the higher-end stuff and decided to pick up a few blind-boxed figures. I got a Dunny from the Azteca 2 series and some Blow-Up Dolls Series 3 figures. I even managed to get a Crappy Cat BUD. Pretty cool huh?
So that’s that. Just a brief glimpse at the cheapy-quirky world of toys vs. the pricey-quirky world of toys. I know it’s a matter of someone doing low-run figures manually vs. mass-producing them and selling them at Toys R Us, but I also think it’s all in presentation and marketing. If I put an OBEY logo on Bob the Goon and called it “OBEY GOON,” it’d sell for $100 instead of $2. Maybe I should try that 
I recently attended a toy show where I dug up what could be some of the most obscure 80s toys in existence. (Sounds pretty dramatic, huh? Well, maybe the most obscure toys I own.)
Seriously though. Look at these guys. It’s a freakin’ oatmeal monster and the Quaker Oats guy as a He-Man figure.
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I’m not a huge collector of the Masters of the Universe (MOTU) toyline, but I had the toys as a child. I am pretty familiar with the original MOTU toyline and all of its characters, variations, etc., but I have never seen or heard of this guy. Ever. There are tons of other blogs and toy sites that are dedicated strictly to the MOTU toyline, and according to them this figure doesn’t exist. It actually reminds me of the infamous “Wonderbread He-Man.”
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Alright. I’d like to buy that this figure doesn’t exist and that this is just someone’s really lame idea for a MOTU custom… thing is, I can’t. The paint job is just too good, the head too well-sculpted and then there’s this – along with the figure came this little sheet of paper.
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It’s a small bio thing explaining that this is Quakor and he helps He-man and the gang stay healthy. It reads:
Quakor: Heroic Purveyor of Health
Quakor with the help of his Instant Quaker Oatmeal assists He-Man and his Heroic Warriors in keeping their strength everyday to do battle with Skeletor and his Evil Warriors.
Quakor?! HA! That’s so bad, it’s good.
And man, that’s some lame, blatant marketing going on there. Heroic Purveyor of Health? Ha!
I also found this little order form. I’m guessing it was packed in the Instant Quaker Oatmeal boxes.
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Apparently Quakor is a mail-away figure from the Quaker Oats company which was produced in partnership with Mattel. I’m all about exclusive or mail-away toys, but the fact that this thing even exists seems absurd. Sure, it’s just a simple repaint of the Prince Adam toy with a new head, but a super-buff Quaker character seems soooo poorly planned. Just a bad, bad idea.
But it doesn’t stop there.
As I showed you earlier, there’s this guy – the Oatmeal Monster. It’s actually another toy offer Quaker did for a character called Mush Man.
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He’s actually pretty cool looking. Seems to be the evil embodiment of mushy oatmeal.
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Thing is, why the hell would you promote your own oatmeal product as a monster? Ha!
I do admit, it makes for a cool looking toy which cashes in on the 80s “gross” phase. It just seems a bit out-of character, that’s all.
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As soon as I laid eyes on Mush Man, I knew I recognized him. He seems to just be a simple re-deco of a figure called Muck Man from an obscure 80s toyline called “Monster Man” by Woolworth.
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The original Muck Man has a gray/purple color scheme while Mush man is just beige.
(Yep. That’s oatmeal alright. Beige.)
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I’m not sure if this guy was released before or after Quakor, but they kind of make a fun set. The Quaker man vs. the walking pile of oatmeal. Who’d a thunk it?
So there ya go. Did I over-dramatize the obscurity of these things? I guess I just got excited.
If any of you Masters of the Universe collectors out there can help me validate Quakor, that’d be great. Thanks!
I don’t want to go too much into the history of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) action figures by Playmates, but just know they were released regularly for about 10 years and with each new series, the character variations got more and more varied (and absurd). The thing is, the toys and characters were always really quirky, fun and well-designed no matter how lame the variant themes were.
Case in point – Robotic Bebop and Rocksteady.
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Truly awesome.
Anyone familiar with TMNT knows that Bebop and Rocksteady are the mutant henchman who are always up to no good and always trying to put a damper on the Turtles’ day. Here’s a list of all the original toy variations of Bebop and Rocksteady:
Yeesh! So after all that, at least they threw some awesome robots in the mix.
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Let’s take a closer look at these guys.
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Well, one of the first things you may notice is the “chrome,” vacuum-metalized finish on these figures. That’s the main reason I noticed them to begin with.
“Ooh. Shiny!”
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How cool is it to have super-shiny, clunky, bad guy robots? They’re just so quirky and fun. I wish they’d made a whole robot series of all the main TMNT characters.
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These robots even come equipped with super-bright, neon-colored weapons and accessories.
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Giant claws, guns, and knives.
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You wouldn’t think these guys need weapons to get the job done, but they’re cool looking nonetheless.
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(Another random detail worth mentioning is the Robotic Rocksteady I have comes with neon purple-colored weapons instead of neon orange. Not sure if it means much, but I thought I’d mention the color variation.)
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As I mentioned before, I love these blocky robot designs. The metallic finish is an awesome way to reinforce the idea that these guys truly are robots. But the most surprising and effective robo-detail is the translucent colored plastic in their heads which catches light, giving them the glowing-eye evil robot look. Priceless. It’s a classic toy gimmick which makes these figures absolutely perfect.
So, we’ve established how great these figures are, but there’s yet another detail that makes them a bit more interesting for you Turtle cartoon fans. It turns out these aren’t just another wacky TMNT toy variation, these robo-mutants appeared in the original Ninja Turtles cartoon .
They appeared in an episode called Super Bebop and Mighty Rocksteady although in the episode, they are actually referred to as “Super Rocksteady” and “Mighty Bebop” (And to confuse things a bit more, there was actually a Turtles toy called “Mighty Bebop,” which depicts Bebop as a superhero. Sheesh).
Here’s a clip from that episode.
The toy designs are a fairly accurate depiction of their cartoon counterparts. The only real difference is their color scheme.
While researching these characters and the episode, I stumbled upon a pretty cool site called ZMFTS (Zobovor’s Multi-Faceted Talent Showcase). This guy, Zobovor, repainted the Robotic Bebop and Rocksteady to create these cartoon-accurate customs. Nice job!
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The site actually features a bunch more awesome TMNT customs. Here’s a breakdown of how he created the cartoon-accurate Super Rocksteady and Mighty Bebop.
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So what have we learned today kids? Reinterpret any character as a clunky, shiny robot, and I will fall in love with it.
I’d like to dedicate this “children’s toy themed” blog entry to my newborn son, Andrew. I’m new to this thing called fatherhood, but I’m loving every minute of it… well, that is until he’ll starts playing with my toys
Over a decade ago while I was in college, my brother, Jason, and I stumbled upon these odd figures at Wal-Mart. They were part of the humble beginnings of my weird toy fascination.
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I’m sure you recognize them.
You probably thought they were these guys, the Teletubbies.
They do look a lot like Teletubbies (which I’m sure is absolutely intentional), but these are actually Bubbly Chubbies! (Pretty original name, huh?)
Sure. At first glance, these things are just odd-looking, androgynous aliens. That’s a bit off-putting in itself, but, as always, it gets stranger.
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Unbeknownst to us, all these years Jason and I have been in possession of some very rare artifacts. These toys aren’t around anymore, and I don’t mean they’re just old and forgotten – I mean they no longer exist.
Apparently, Ragdoll Productions Ltd., the creators of Teletubbies, weren’t too happy about Wal-Mart ripping off their ridiculously popular, money-making property and they were ordered by a federal court to recall and destroy all the Bubbly Chubbies toys. You might call it the “Bubbly Chubby holocaust.” I know it’s a bit morbid, but these toys are kinda like Holocaust survivors. (Damn. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to equate Survivors’ lives and struggles to some crummy knock off toys. I just needed to dramatize the scarcity of a weirdo toy). Get the full scoop in this New York Times article.
So, what we’ve got here is the same toy with four color variations – Blue, Violet, Pink and Yellow.
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It may be an accident in the toys’ design, but I love how the transparent eyeballs actually reveal the each Chubby’s color scheme. Kind of neat.
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And they’re all wearing wireless headphones. What’s up with that?
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I wonder what they’re listening to. Probably the Bananas in Pajamas theme song or something.
Oh yeah. Did you notice the trap doors on their backs? It’s where their batteries are stored. Why batteries, you ask?
To power their death stare of course.
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“YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND OH CHUBBY MASTER.”
A simple push of their literal belly button, and you unleash the hypnotic death stare of the unassuming Bubbly Chubbies.
Yeah, these are a pretty blatant ripoff, but I’m glad the toy designers had the foresight to integrate the typical LED red laser into these knockoffs… and I’m especially glad they put them in their eye sockets.
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I just don’t know whether they’re supposed to hypnotize me or turn me to stone. Either way, I know not to look them in the eye.