Weirdo Toys

Archive for the ‘TV and Movies’ Category

Classic Movie Monsters by Imperial Toy

Monday, May 18th, 2009

I’m sure you’re all familiar with these classic Universal Monsters. They’re the classic movie monsters that the world knows and loves.

Well, today I’d like to share with you Dracula, Wolfman, Frankenstein and the Mummy.

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These 8″ figures were produced by Imperial Toy Corporation and Universal Pictures in 1986. You may not recognize them at first glance because they’re so darned quirky and awkward-looking compared to most modern renditions of the classic monsters. That’s actually what I love about ‘em though. They’re so “off-model” and uniquely charming.

And according to their packages, they come “with posable arms and head.” Not a huge selling point, but what else were they gonna call out on the package? “With goofy, inaccurate likenesses and proportions?”

Let’s just see how they measure up to their on-screen counterparts.

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Here we have Dracula’s Grandpa…

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… Frankenstein’s swollen, awkward, teen-aged son…

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… Um… the Mummy’s stunt double…

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… and what actually looks kinda like the Wolfman.

I guess they do bare a resemblance to the movie characters but not necessarily to the actors portraying them. (I know these things were released in the 80s, so I probably shouldn’t be so judgmental. Everything nowadays is made from a feakin’ computer scan of a face.)

You thought their faces were funny? Wait til you see the rest of ‘em.

Let’s start things out with the time-honored blood sucker, Dracula

Dracula
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He’s a friendly Dracula (either that, or he’s waving down a cab).

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I’m really surprised they didn’t give this guy fangs. C’mon! That’s his gimmick. Now he just looks like a very pale, formal, butler-superhero type.

The figure is almost completely black and white except for the few dabs of red. None of the red is blood though (unless you imagine those a blood-covered lips). Oh, and his medal of honor and buttons are yellow.

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Don’t you just love those plump, cartoony hands they put on this guy? They look a lot like the classic cartoon gloved hand (you know, like Mickey Mouse or whoever would wear). I am glad they went the extra mile and added the rings though. I guess Dracula had a thing for bling.

Hey. He’s got a dab of green on his ring too. So that means they actually used 5 colors on this figure. Wow.

Now, let’s look at Frankenstein (or “Frankenstein’s Monster” as I like to refer to him when I’m feeling anal about it).

Frankenstein
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Jesus H! Look at those hands! What the hell’s going on here? I know Frankenstein’s cobbled together from various body parts, but I’ve never known him to have freakishly large hands at the end of super long arms. He can reach his knees without bending over. FREAKY!

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And look at his tiny head. Adorable (or should I say “abhorable”).

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This Frankenstein’s actually really great. I wish the other figures in this set were as distorted and goofy as this guy. I think he’s my favorite of the bunch.

Next up is everybody’s furry favorite, the Wolfman.

Wolfman
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I’m not quite sure what to say about this guy. He’s actually a decent-looking Wolfman figure. His yellow and red color scheme threw me off at first, but that’s about it. And I guess I find it hard to believe that he’d turn into a wolf, run through the woods terrorizing people and still manage to keep his shirt fully buttoned and tucked-in. That’s one prim and proper Wolfman.

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His feet actually look like furry boots or slippers or something. Wonder why only his shoes tear off but the rest of his clothes stay completely intact.

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One thing I’d like to point out is the subtle “gore” included with this figure. While Dracula, the guy known for drinking blood every day, doesn’t have a drop on him, this guy, the Wolfman, has blood spatter and fine mist sprayed all over his hands. Looks like he’s had a busy night. Maybe his shirt was actually white before sundown.

Oh yeah, and check out the chunks of flack on his fingers (or is that the freshly-torn flesh of another victim? Mwa-ha-ha!).

And lastly, we have the Mummy.

Mummy
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This Mummy honestly resembles an injured stuntman more than a centuries-old, decayed zombie wrapped in bandages.

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He’s just standing there in a body cast.

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He seriously looks like an over-the-hill daredevil who’s suffering from scrapes, burns, broken bones and probably a bruised ego.

You should probably retire buddy.

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Even the spots of dirt (or whatever they’re supposed to be) look like dried blood seeping through the wraps. Very, very goofy. This guy’s my second favorite

Okay, that wraps up our look at screwed up Universal Monsters toys.

So what if the toys are ugly. Why else would you want to buy them? Are you telling me perfect likenesses of each of these movie characters would be more interesting than what I’ve just shown you? I think not.

I hope you enjoy these guys as much as I do. If you like them, you can buy them on eBay right now!

Posted in Monsters, TV and Movies | 20 Comments »

Toximodo by Sungold

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

Ever find yourself buying a toy simply for the horrendous (or hilarious) packaging? It’s rare that I do that, but in this case, that’s just what happened.

That’s where this story begins.

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I discovered this MONSTER toyline last year, and not only did I love its generic, non-committed name, but I immediately fell in love with its packaging. The front of the card features a very weird illustration collecting some “classic” monsters, but the thing is, they’re all a bit out of character and just odd-looking (well, more odd-looking than usual). It really looks like they’re all breaking out of a prison or mental ward or something. There’s barbed-wire-covered brick walls they’re all bursting out of (actually, with the city skyline in the background, it looks more like they’re bursting into the prison). And not only that, they’re carrying knives and straight razors and stuff. These monsters don’t mess around. You thought they were dangerous before? Now they’re armed! If you cross paths, you are definitely screwed.

The look of this piece really reminds me of those funky hand-painted, amateur Hollywood movie posters.

Chuck Norris poster image courtesy of “GroGraphics.com“. Thanks!

Ewoks poster image courtesy of “FunnyGarbage.com“. Thanks!

The characters look familiar but they aren’t quite right. (I need to do a Weirdo Posters blog next )

So, let’s take a closer look shall we? (Lemme warn you, I’m gonna be over-analyzing the hell out of this package. I’m not sure why. I just have to.)

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So here’s the headliner. Lets call him “Toximodo.” He looks like a cross between the Toxic Avenger and Quasimodo.

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Looks like old Toximodo here got top billing in the monster lineup. Not sure why. I’m guessing he’s supposed to look like Quasimodo (or the Hunchback of Notre Dame or whatever you wanna call him). Is a deformed hunchback not scary enough? These guys really wanted to take him up a notch by adding boils, warts, cysts or whatever those are supposed to be.

Yech! He’s covered in oozing, bubbly flesh mounds.

Even his hump is bumpy.

Gross. Really, really nasty.

He’s even bleeding.

And of course, the haircut. Gotta love the haircut.

Oh. One last thing. What the hell’s up with that thumb? Has it been severed?

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Next is a severed green hand nailed to the wall. Wait. Scratch that. It’s been screwed to the wall (Phillips head), and it’s oozing orange blood/slime. Looks like it might’ve belonged to the Frankenstein Monster, but he’s got all his appendages. I guess it’s from some unlucky passerby.

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Next we have the Mummy. He’s looking a bit maniacal. He’s got a bloody straight razor, and he’s definitely eyeballing the green hand. Must be admiring his handy work (seriously no pun intended).

Again, to take up the gross factor, they’ve given this guy an exposed brain. Awesome. I thought Mummies had their brains pulled through their noses before they were prepped for “mummification.” Maybe this is just a mental patient.

Something else that’s weird is the additional bandaged mummy hand bursting through the wall. It’s a right hand, but we can see the mummy’s right hand is delicately holding a razor. Oh well. Why worry about details like that?

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Next we have the Frankenstein Monster. He’s got a big knife/ice pick looking thing. It’s already bloody, which means he’s already stabbed somebody (or cut himself). Careful. he’s reaching for you. Also, it looks like he’s been crying blood. You know he’s evil if that’s the case.

Wonder what that yellow block thing is (more on that later).

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Wow! It’s Freddy’s glove poking through a hole in the wall. Looks like he’s playing with someone’s heart… a heart with intestines attached to it. I love how it’s delicately balancing on the blades. Serrated blades no less. This character inconsistency goes well with his candy-cane-colored sweater.

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And lastly we have this simple message scrawled in orange blood/slime, “HELP.” Ha!! My sentiments exactly.

As I mentioned previously, I discovered the MONSTER toy series last year sometime. I actually stumbled upon the Mummy figure from this toyline first. I wasn’t in love with the Mummy figure as much as I was his packaging. In fact, I was gonna do a blog entry focusing strictly on his package (wait… lemme rephrase that).

But one look at the back of the card made me realize I HAD to find the hunchback figure. He was so gloriously disfigured, melting and angry.

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Well, luckily for you (and especially me), I found him. Now lets’ take a look at him.

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Ah. A thing of beauty isn’t it? A brightly-colored, holey-shoed, acne-ridden hunchback. Even the skin tone of his head and body don’t match. Don’t think that was an accident. These guys knew what they were doing when they made him (I’m gonna have to use that trick when I start making my own toys.)

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One of the things I immediately noticed is how different this character looks than the one featured on the package. On the back of the card, he has a pained, evil grimace. This guy looks like a chubby monk with acne and a bad overbite. His hair even looks like a headband. Not nearly the horror we grew to love from the front of the package.

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But, to make up for it, His bubbly, exposed skin is fantastic. Really, really gross.

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Look at that hump! It looks like a bowl of baked beans or something. That is truly nasty. I love how his hump burst through his shirt. That’s one strong hump ya got there.

Now, let’s check out the back of the card.

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I’m gonna show you details of the characters pictured here, but notice how none of them are listed by name at all. We’ll just have to guess at who they’re supposed to be. I’ll try not to go into as much detail as I did with the front of the toy card.

Mummy
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Seems like a standard Mummy figure. I have this figure, and his brain is not exposed. Bummer. Also, take note – most of the toys you’ll see here will have this same dance pose.

Quasimodo (or Toximodo)
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You just saw this guy. He’s the best. Well, he could be second to…

Freddy
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Yep. It’s Freddy. But this looks more like your friendly, retired, neighborhood Freddy. You might even leave a fruitcake at his doorstep for Christmas. He’s got the candy cane stripes and blue jeans, so you know it’s gotta be casual Freddy.

Wolf Man
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Wow. Looks like your typical Wolfman toy. He’s just doing an awkward dance, that’s all.

Frankenstein’s Monster
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m not calling him Frankenstein. I don’t know why I’m being so literal. Just trying to respect the legend I guess. His pose reminds me of the Franken- Wiggler I featured a while back.

Dracula (or the Joker)
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Wow. Is this guy a circus ring leader or what? I’ve never seen Dracula wearing such vibrant, goofy clothing. Or should I say, I’ve never seen the Joker with such big fangs?

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One other detail I wanted to show you was this very goofy warning on the package.

“Not suitable for children under 48 months. Please keep this packaging for future reference.”

What? Keep the package as reference for the age limit? As a reference to which characters to collect? I dunno. It just struck me as funny.

MONSTER toyline package detail

Oh yeah, and there’s one more thing to mention. Remember those odd yellow blocks on the front and back of the card I mentioned earlier? Well, apparently those were areas which used to have the name of the company that produced these toys originally Sungold Mfg. Co., Ltd. (Thanks to the fine folks at Clam’s Toy Box for shedding some light on that for me and providing me with the crappy, low-res proof that the Sungold card once existed.)

As far as who made these and when they were released? That’s still a mystery I think. There are no markings on the packaging or on the figures themselves. Any info and other insights are definitely welcome. Thanks.

• Buy Vintage Monster Figures on eBay!

Posted in Goofy, Gross, Monsters, Toy Packaging, TV and Movies, Ugly | 24 Comments »

Snatch Attack Spidertron

Thursday, March 12th, 2009

So, here we have Snack-Attack Spider-Tron (that’s what you get when you cross snacks with Spiderman and Tron obviously).

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I found these pics by searching “Weird Spiderman” and “Weird Tron.“

Waitaminit. It’s Snatch Attack Spidertron. My mistake.

I found this guy at the York Toy Show too. Funny thing is, I’d never seen this toy before in my life, but for some reason, at this show, I saw at least 4 or 5 of him at various vendors’ tables. I guess old Power Rangers toys are more common up north or something. (I was just guessing it was a Power Rangers toy. It sure looks and acts like one.)

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As I’ve mentioned every time I’ve posted one of these MMPR monsters, I’m not a fan of the show at all, but I’m willing to admit, the villain toys are pretty cool/freaky/goofy.

This guy really grabbed my attention, because he’s a cool-looking, semi-realistic depiction of a spider in action figure form. It’s as if whoever made this figure heard the term “Spider-man” and took it literally. Look at him. He’s a a bulbous, furry, humanoid spider man, with eight hinged, red-spike-tipped arms/legs and a creepy, fangy, spidery face.

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And nothing complements nappy, brown fur and red spikes like that big, green and yellow protective shell.

Not only that, but he comes equipped with “spider-hug action!” There’s a trigger on his back that, when pulled, controls the top six arms to flex and grab at whatever unlucky teen in a vibrant-colored jumpsuit gets in his way.

As I mentioned previously, I didn’t know what this toy was, but a quick glance at his feet soon revealed that I was on the right path. His markings read ©94 Bandai, which basically meant he was a Power Ranger (or Beetle Borg) toy. So, a few minutes on Google, and voila! I had the culprit’s identity. I soon discovered his name was Spidertron (actually, too be more specific, it’s “Snatch-Attack Spidertron,” but you already knew that). With a name like that, it sounds like he should be a robot or something.

Spidertron pic courtesy of Megazord.net. Thanks!

Looks like the toy originally came with a big web shield doohickey.

Spidertron

According to sharetv.org, in his introductory episode, “Itsy Bitsy Spider,” (Aired Oct. 12, 1993) – “Rita switches out a Forrest Spirit Statue from Angel Grove park and replaces it with her own- one which holds her latest Spidertron monster inside. He puts a sleeping spell on the entire town of Angel Grove, putting everyone but Zack under a deep sleep, leaving him to face Spidertron alone.”

A sleeping spell? Lame. He should’ve just covered the town in spider webs. Better yet, he should’ve wrapped up the Power Rangers and sucked their blood dry.

• Buy Spidertron on eBay!

Posted in Alien, Monsters, TV and Movies | 13 Comments »

Bert & Mickey Coin Banks

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

As most of you know (and as some have felt), the world’s “financial situation” isn’t too great right now. Here in the U.S., folks are saying we’re in a recession (I think the media helped perpetuate that status with their incessant fear mongering, but nonetheless, that’s where we are). I know a lot of folks are losing jobs and homes, so I feel extremely fortunate to still have my job and home, and I even have the time and money to maintain this goofy blog.

… which leads us to our theme for today’s entry – Money. To be more precise – saving money.

No, I’m not gonna be providing any cost-saving tips for toy collectors or anything like that (God knows you can’t get cheaper than some of the crap I’ve picked up over the years). I’m actually referring to something I’d never imagined would be on the Weirdo Toys blog – coin banks.

What better way to save money for weirdo toys than by placing loose change in a couple of other weirdo toys.

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I came across these two beauties at the York Toy Show, and they just kept chanting, “Put me on the blog. Put me on the blog. Put me on the blog….”

Bert Bank

As you may have noticed, the first bank posted there is Bert (or seems to be).
Of course we all know him from the children’s show, Sesame Street. He hangs out with his buddy (or brother… or lover), Ernie.

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As you may have noticed, Bert’s a bit off-model. With his round, red clown nose and military-style buzz cut he’s not as cute and “muppety” as his TV show depiction.

Look! He even has a slight smirk. Bert should NEVER show emotion (other than frustration or anger)!

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This Bert is just awkward. He appears to be more squatty than I’d ever imagined. In fact, he’s so short, he’s having to pull up his long shirt so he doesn’t step on it… and his shirt’s totally the wrong color. It looks like it’s striped, but I guess the manufacturer couldn’t afford more than four stripes (according to his markings, this guy was made by New York Vinyl Prod. Corp. in 1971).

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Actually, now that we have a better look at the the back, it actually looks like Bert is holding a towel around his waste. What the hell? I know Sesame Street had scenes of Ernie in the tub, but I never remember scenes of Bert in the shower. And as with all sub-par quality toys, only the front of the toy is painted (unless you count the full paint app of the hair).

He’s ugly and totally wrong, but that’s what I like about him. He just has a peculiar charm and is “off” just enough to make him intriguing. He’s a pretty good size too. He’s stands slightly taller than 12″, and he’s made of pretty sturdy plastic.

Bert Live
Weird Bert image courtesy of the True Feelings On The Closing of TMS Weblog. Thanks!

As a side note, I wanted to show you something I found while searching Google for images of Bert. It’s live-action Bert. Freaky.

Mickey Mouse

Next we have Disney’s Mickey Mouse. Arguably the most popular cartoon character in existence (also the most mind-numbingly dull). That’s why I was totally shocked when I found this little beauty.

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I have to tell you a little bit about the guy I bought this from. I was strolling around the show, going table to table, and I came across this guy with a table full of vintage Mickey Mouse stuff. It was all super-old, antiquey and expensive. I could clearly see high price tags on most of the items there, so I was reluctant to even check the price on this ugly bank I spotted. I picked up the bank. Flipped it over. No price. Before I even had a chance to put it down, the guy blurts out “I’ll do a dollar on that!” I know I had to have a look of excitement in my eyes when I replied, “Really? Okay!! I’ll take it.” The guy paused for a second. I could see the gears turning in his head. He eventually spoke up again and asked “Wait. What is it? Why are you so interested in it?” I just laughed and simply told him, “Because it’s so horrible.” He joined in with some obligatory social laughter, but I could see the doubt and soon-to-be regret he was going to feel for the rest of the show… wondering just how much money he threw way by letting this jewel out of his possession for a mere dollar.

I’m sure the joke’s on me… but I think it’s worth the buck I paid for it. I hope you agree.

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First thought – This thing is messed up. Seriously.

I’m pretty sure this thing isn’t a Disney product at all (thank goodness). Just look at it.

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Half-assed, off-register paint job, flimsy-ass plastic and a horribly sloppy, jagged seam. Harsh words I know, but it’s only because I love him so much.

Outside of that, I love that Mickey is wearing a little cap and long pants. He looks like a little jockey riding his big money bag.

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Only bad thing about the Mickey bank is that there’s no alternate opening to get the money out once you’ve filled the thing. There’s just the slot on top, so once the money is in there, it’s most likely not getting out (guess that’ll guarantee some savings).

Hey another side note. I normally don’t do this, but when I was Google-searching “Mickey Mouse” I came across this intriguing and hilarious photo of Mickey and Minnie Mouse at Mardi Gras. I just had to share it (This one’s dedicated to you Reis ).

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Maybe I should start a Weirdo Boobs blog?

• Buy Bert toys on eBay!

• Buy Mickey Mouse toys on eBay!

Posted in Bootleg, Cartoons, TV and Movies, Used & Abused | 17 Comments »

La Cosa de los Cuatro Fantásticos

Sunday, February 15th, 2009

Well, as you’ve seen here before (and I’m sure you’re bound to see again), I have some delightfully horrible Mexican bootlegs to share. (By the way, I hope that Spanish blog entry title is correct. I kind of guessed at it using Babelfish and Google. Who needs to bother learning multiple languages? )

It’s great just seeing some Mexican sculptors’ attempts to create the likenesses of popular comic characters. These guys aren’t just bootlegging Marvel Legends toys, they are making custom sculptures (maybe even something that could be equated to limited edition designer vinyl), and they have their own personalities and unique stories to tell.

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Let me back up for a minute just to give the unknowing readers a quick rundown of what they’re looking at.

The Thing Comic Panels

This is “The Thing.”

(I threw in the Jack Kirby / Rob Liefeld drawing comparison just so the comic geeks out there can vomit ever-so-slightly. Well actually, that’ll make anyone vomit.)

I’m not sure if you all know of this character.

Roger Corman's Fantastic Four

The Thing is a member of the Fantastic Four – a group of scientist buddies that went into space, got zapped by cosmic rays and ended up a mutated bunch of freaks. Scientist, Ben Grimm (The Thing), turned into a big orange rock guy. A rock guy in his underwear. Oh, and they all star in their own comic published by Marvel Comics

Now that we’ve got that outta the way, let’s take a closer look at these bootlegs action figures one-by-one.

Crappy-Arm-Action Thing
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Okay. Is it just me, or does this guy appear naked at first glance? He has a belt, no genitalia, and darker legs. I guess that implies pants well enough.

He also has a “4″ sticker on his chest. Maybe he needed the 4 so we wouldn’t confuse him with any other of the Marvel character bootlegs.

Look at his funky blue eyes and blue mouth. Blue is a good color choice, I guess, since it’s the complement to orange, but it’s still kinda creepy. He’s glowing from the inside or something.

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So, this guy actually takes it up a notch (or is that down a notch?) when it comes to bootlegs. Whoever made this thing thought it’d be a good idea to make the arms connect by plastic a rod which is controlled by a small lever sticking out of the toy’s back. I guess it’s an “action feature.” Only thing is, it’s hard as hell to get it to move, and neither arm can move independently. Not only that, the pieces weren’t really made to fit together, so the rod is actually somehow forcing the toy’s shoulder/torso to pry open, making it even harder to maneuver the action feature. Kinda crummy.

Concave-Head Flack Thing
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All I can say is this bootleg ROCKS (pun intended). He’s not even really an “action figure.” He’s just a horribly, crappily, ridiculously, poorly-made mold-injected toy. He’s hollow, has no paint whatsoever, and flack all over… but at least he’s orange.

What does impress me though, is the fact that the sculpt is a cool, original take on the Thing. He’s a bit more cartoony with less of the “traditional” superhero proportions as seen in the previous bootleg.

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Look at this. Chunky, sloppy flack and a caved-in head. That’s some good bootleg craftsmanship

Fantastic Four's - The Thing - Mexican Bootleg

This Thing actually looks a bit like Michael Chiklis who played him in the movie. I don’t know if this photo captures it well, but in person, I thought I was looking at a bootleg Commish figure.

Rock Candy Thing
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Here we have little, cherry-flavored rocky candy Thing (I don’t mean that literally. He’s plastic and all. He just kind of reminded me of rock candy). He’s just a solid, shiny, translucent chunk. Reminds me of those little PVC figures like M.U.S.C.L.E. or Smurfs or whatever.

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One thing that caught my eye was the odd paint job. Look at his underpants. It almost looks like it was just applied minutes ago. Or it is still wet, because it isn’t chemically bonding with the plastic. Do you know what I’m talking about?

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Poor guy. His face barely fits on his head.

Claymation Thing
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Last, and definitely not least, is my favorite of the bunch. The most goofy, quirky, fun version of the Thing I’ve ever seen. I wouldn’t be surprised to see this guy in a low-budget claymation version of the Fantastic Four.

He’s just so fun. A big, round, chunky, loveable, bright, fully-poseable Thing figure. He even has hand-painted underwear.

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I loved the startled look on his face. He must’ve just seen bootleg Invisible Girl in her invisible clothes.

And what’s up with the gray lips? Is it gravy? Porridge? Whatever it is, he’s just devoured it.

“It’s Slobberin’ Time!”

Buy The Thing toys on eBay!

Posted in Bootleg, Cartoons, Comics, Goofy, Superhero, TV and Movies | 18 Comments »

Archive for the ‘TV and Movies’ Category

Classic Movie Monsters by Imperial Toy

Toximodo by Sungold

Snatch Attack Spidertron

Bert & Mickey Coin Banks

La Cosa de los Cuatro Fantásticos

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