Archive for the ‘Used & Abused’ Category

Sadballs

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008

Here we go again! Another series of Madballs to follow up the rebirth from last year!

Basic Fun has really dropped the ball (no pun intended… seriously) on the latest series of Madballs. The first series really looked great, but it looks like they intentionally sucked the life out of these classic characters. They’re not nearly as cool as I remembered. Look at this crap.

Dirty DevilNot as much dirty as he is a devil.
(Click to enlarge)
Generic Bootleg Devil Madball

Blood BulgeHe has a huge blood blister bulging from his eye socket. What else can ya say?
(Click to enlarge)
Generic Bootleg Skull Madball

Lace FaceA sewn-on kisser only a stepmother could love.
(Click to enlarge)
Generic Bootleg Scarred Face Madball

Evil KnievelBruised, beaten, and by the looks of it – undead.
(Click to enlarge)
Generic Bootleg Mummy Madball

Ugly Ball - His laugh will drive you Bonkers!
(Click to enlarge)
Ugly Ball - Skull Faced Generic Madball Bootleg

Alright. Ya got me. I’m just kiddin’. These aren’t Madballs at all. They’re some scraggly-ass 80s Madballs bootlegs… and they’re great ;)

Madballs Comic and Sticker Sheet

As most of you know, in the mid-80s, the Madballs were hugely popular. It all started simply enough with the foam rubber balls, but Madballs didn’t stop there. They pushed the Madballs brand into even more categories: mini-action figures (which will actually find their way to this blog eventually), wind-ups toys, stickers, coloring books, etc. You name it, it probably had a Madballs logo on it. They even made a cartoon! (Luckily, I never saw it, but that won’t stop me from showing it to you :D )

Of course the success (and overkill) of Madballs merchandising wasn’t overlooked by no-name toy manufacturers. You know the routine. You see something is a success, so you do your best to ride its coattails. That’s where these hideous things come into play.

In general, all of these bootleg balls are pretty bad, but they do have some distinguishable differences that helps them stand-out from your typical Madball. Firstly, they’re plastic instead of foam rubber. Secondly, as far as visual style goes, the details aren’t there. Compared to the real thing, the actually designs of the toy sculpts are less developed, and the paint applications are a lot more minimal and sloppy. But, it is their bad production value that lead them hear in the first place, so I guess I should stop trash-talkin’ ‘em. I have no clue to who made them. All I have are markings marking that read “Made in Taiwan.”

Of the handful of bootlegs balls I have, I really like the goofy devil guy the most. He just seems jovial or jolly or something. It looks like he’s an early 1900s circus announcer. Ya know, something like the Ringling Brothers.

Ringling Brothers with Generic Madball Devil Heads

Also, the ball I’ve referred to as “Blood Bulge” is actually kind of gross. He has a huge blood blister bulging out of one eye socket and has blood-coated teeth. At a primal level, he’s actually much grosser then the latest Madballs (mostly because the modern Madballs toys use slime instead of blood. Buncha wusses).

Madballs' Slobulus - Slimy and Bloody Heads

During my search for generic bootleg Madballs, I came across a bit of info of one of our ugly friends. It appears that last ball listed is actually a bootleg of a ripoff. It looks a lot like a toy called Ugly Ball which was created by Bonkers! candy in the 80s to cash in on the craze without really getting AmToy involved. Instead, they made their own horrible, horrible ball toy. Here’s a look at the old Bonker’s Ugly Ball commercial.

As a side note, how I obtained these bootleg Madballs is kind of a goofy story. Over the past several years, I’ve been designing a bunch of CDs and stuff for German industrial-rock band, KMFDM. Well, during that time, I’ve befriended their Production and Marketing Manager (I’m just guessing at his title), Brent. Brent knew about my site and my dorky interest in weird toys, and at some point, he stumbled upon his entire twenty-year-old Madballs collection. Luckily for me, he decided to generously send it to me… including the goofy bootlegs. Thanks Brent!

So, anyone else have any goofy Madballs bootlegs? I know darn well I saw more of them as a child. Share ‘em if you got ‘em.

Masters of the Uni-worse

Monday, July 7th, 2008

So here we have some Masters of the Universe (MOTU) figures. It’s He-Man (The Most Powerful Man in the Universe) and Skeletor (The Evil Lord of Destruction).

Don’t they look awesome? Just like I remembered them….

He-Man

(Click to enlarge)
He-Man - Generic Mexican Action Figure

Skeletor

(Click to enlarge)
Skeletor - Generic Mexican Action Figure

Masters of the Universe my ass! These guys are masters of nothing (well, maybe the Masters of Shittily Made Toys).

All I can say is these things are god-awful. Again, what we have here are some generic, ugly-ass Mexican bootleg figures of popular American toylines.

These MOTU figures are horrible, but I love ‘em. They look like homemade elementary school sculpture projects. You can’t pose them. They can’t hold any weapons (although there’s a hole in Skeletor’s hand, so maybe it had a purpose at some point). Do-it-yourself action figures (Well, not action figures, cuz they can’t really move. They’re just statues i guess).

(Click to enlarge)
He-Man - Generic Mexican Action Figure He-Man - Generic Mexican Action Figure

They’re the rejects of the MOTU toyline. Maybe that’s why I took them in. I feel sorry for them with their horrible molds, non-existent quality control and bad production value. These guys look like they’ve melted a bit. There’s tons of flack all over ‘em, their paint’s rubbed off, and they’re just plain gross.

(Click to enlarge)
Skeletor - Generic Mexican Action Figure Skeletor - Generic Mexican Action Figure

Skeletor actually has a separate piece of armor (which is held on by a peg protruding from his chest) and some freaky muscle structure on his back (not that the rest of him isn’t freaky). Oh, and as it turns out, he does swivel at the waist.

(Click to enlarge)
He-Man & Skeletor - Generic Mexican Action Figures

He-Man’s a bit smaller than Skeletor, but does size really matter?

So, what are the odds that these are actually rare prototypes? They’re early concept figures of the legendary toyline. Hmmmm….

He sells sea shells by the sea shore.

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

Here’s one of those random flea market toys I found weeks ago. Another lone, quirky action figure.

I wasn’t quite sure what this guy was, but I knew I liked his style. Looks like he should be an evil, menacing villain, but c’mon! He has an arm-swinging action feature (which is broken), a whale on his head, bling around his neck, barnacles and sea shells all over his body…

(Click to enlarge)
Typhus - BeetleBorgs Action Figure

…and he even has a crab for a hand (a truly awesome and hilarious design decision by the way). How menacing could he be?

(Click to enlarge)
Typhus - BeetleBorgs Action Figure

I figured he was a Power Rangers character, but I wanna come up with some better (worse) sea-related jokes to introduce this guy.

- He sells sea shells by the sea shore.
- The REAL Aquaman
- He’s sleeping with the fishes.
- He has a bad case of crabs.
- Mascot for Sea World

Yeah, that’s it. He can be the original, retired mascot for Sea World. Since he was fired by Sea World, he’s become old and bitter. That’s actually not an angry, “evil” look on his face, it’s just frustration due to his lack of any other relevant job skills.

Seriously though, this toy looks to be another quirky Power Rangers bad guy, but as always, ya gotta check the toy’s markings – “© 96 Bandai” on one foot and “Made in China” on the other.

(Click to enlarge)
Typhus - BeetleBorgs Action Figure

(Click to enlarge)
Typhus - BeetleBorgs Action Figure

Ya know, I actually had no luck figuring out what this toy was. Seriously, I scoured the web for Power Rangers and BeetleBorgs characters for a pretty good while. Nothing.

But thanks to JohnH at the ToyTraderz.com forums, I was able to get some help identifying this guy. Turns out it’s a Saber-Swiping Typhus figure from the BeetleBorgs toy line, and according to Wikipedia, Typhus is a Chimera, humanoid monster who likes to fight. His whale flattop is actually an extra mouth used to eat food and other junk, and he uses a sword (which blasts lasers when held in his extra mouth) that latches to his arm or his mouth. Weird.

I’m not too familiar with the BeetleBorgs. They just look like another set of brightly-colored, acrobatic kids that fight monsters.

I sure as hell hope, the show wasn’t as bad as this music video I found.

Dodo Bird Discovered

Sunday, May 4th, 2008

So, over the past several months, I’ve been posting random toys hoping to gather insight on what they are and where they come from. I’ve been successful in a lot of cases, but other times I ask the readers to speak up and help me out. While doing this, I’ve accidentally become the weirdo toy “expert.” I now have people coming to me asking about the origin of random toys they’ve found.

Well, one such toy is the topic of my entry today. This toy was actually provided to me by my buddy, John (who has had this thing for a while now), and he was really hoping to find out what it is.

I was a bit hesitant to feature it at first, but luckily, upon seeing the toy, I thought it was pretty freaky too (and now it’s all mine John! Sucker!! ;) ).

(Click to enlarge)
Silly Safari - Jungle Game bird piece Silly Safari - Jungle Game bird piece

At first glance I thought, “What the hell is this thing?”

An ostrich?

A giraffe?

The bastard offspring of an interspecies love affair?

Silly Safari - Jungle Game bird piece

So what do we have? At first, it looks like a simple bobbing bird toy – Yellow body, green tail and… red eyes and neck? Uh-oh. Could be something freaky.

(Click to enlarge)
Silly Safari - Jungle Game bird piece

A dangly tongue? Um, yeah. Kinda weird.

Ears? On a bird? Definitely weird.

An Adam’s Apple? What the hell.

All that accompanied with the freaky looking, rubbed-off paint job definitely makes this thing qualified to be here.

There is a clue on its tail feathers luckily: “1966 Deluxe Reading Corp. 7003-0415 1B1″. Apparently Deluxe Reading Corporation has gone through some name changes over the years, and they’re best known for making dolls and stuff… and even Johnny Lightning cars.

After some annoying research and matching the toy’s serial number to a Deluxe Reading Corp. catalog i found online, I discovered this guy is actually a game piece of some old board game called Silly Safari.

Silly Safari Jungle Game
Silly Safari game box photo courtesy of BoardGameGeek.com.

Silly Safari Jungle Game
Silly Safari game pieces photo courtesy of BoardGameGeek.com.

It looks like the paint on the bird piece might’ve been a custom job.

Man, I’d love to get my hands on that alligator. Anybody wanna give him up?

Damned Dirty Hippie (or Naked Hippie Stuntman)

Friday, April 18th, 2008

Here we are again. A down-on-his-luck homeless toy. They’re always getting in the way when rummaging through the toy bins at fleamarkets and toy shows.

And what do we have here? A filthy, dirty, naked… stuntman. (You remember this guy’s buddy don’t you?)

I never would’ve expected to find another one of these guys, but here he is. A guy with the same entirely flesh-toned body, decorative belt, boots and underwear.

(Click to enlarge)
Naked Hippie Stuntman

(Click to enlarge)
Naked Hippie Stuntman

This guy’s generic-as-hell, poorly made and just plain awkward… which has got me thinking. What if there’s actually a toyline out there made to look like trash. I can picture it now – an assembly line of people brushing this dirt on the toys. I see the mold makers throwing out all the good ones, making sure the bad molds with flack are used for the final production run. And to top it off, they’ll leave no production markings, so you can’t trace where and when this toy came into existence. (maybe this will be the future production plan for a Weirdo Toys store).

(Click to enlarge)
Naked Hippie Stuntman

Where do these guys come from?

How do they get so dirty?

What the hell.

I’ve gotta wash my hands again!

INFO UPDATE:

I did some snooping around, and I may have some idea what these guys are. It’s possible they’re from a toyline called The Karate Defenders. They were made by Imperial Toy in 1986. They were outfitted with cloth outfits and various weapons such as kamas and katanas. This is the only photographic evidence i could gather.

(Click to enlarge)
The Karate Defenders
Karate Defenders photo courtesy of GORT at ToyTraderz.com. Thanks!