Weirdo Toys

Remember the New Adventures of He-Man? I discussed it briefly a couple years ago.

You see, I never really knew about the New Adventures of He-Man cartoon as a kid. I never watched the show or knew the characters or anything like that. I was already out of my Masters of the Universe toy phase, but that didn’t mean I still didn’t like looking around the toy store. My first (and last) exposure to “New Adventures” was on the shelves in a toy store. I still have a vague memory of strolling through the toy aisles of said store and seeing, hanging from the pegs in bold, gold type,”He-Man.” But once I saw what the He-Man figures were, I was a bit surprised, confused and disappointed. The characters were all new, they were a smaller scale, and they were not as freakishly muscular as I’d come to expect. It made no sense. It was traumatic I tell you.

Seriously. This new bastardized He-Man sucked. It seems that there was so much of a distaste for scrawny He-Man, that Mattel eventually released a couple more versions of him which you may notice grew more and more muscular.

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He-Man figure photos courtesy of He-Man.org.

Ha! He still looks pretty crappy but at least he’s transforming to the steroid-ridden He-Man. That’s the way we like him.

Well, I’m well beyond the whole purpose of this post. I’ll just say the new He-Man sucked. but it’s been a long time since those days, and looking at the line now with my weirdo-collector eyes, I can actually see the value in some of the “He-Man” toy designs – mainly the villains and especially this villain, Optikk (clever name huh?).

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You are looking at one of the freakiest He-Man villains ever created. His head is a giant, pulsing eyeball for cryin’ out loud, and it’s staring through your soul!

Optikk’s been getting a lot of attention lately, because he’s being re-made and released by Mattel in the Masters of the Universe Classics (MOTUC) line.

Optikk figure photo courtesy of YouBentMyWookie.com.

This is a testament to the fan-following this guy has garnered over the years. He looks pretty cool, but I figured I’d show you the original.

We’re going back to 1990.

Let’s start with the packaging.

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Ah. Good, old fashioned paintings of characters. I’ll always, always enjoy that. Thanks Mattel, for supporting some illustrators. (but I have noticed you’re re-using the same vintage art for the MOTUC lines. Just hire a guy to do new stuff, so it can be consistent.)

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Well, to start things off, I’ll just say, “Ugh.” Look at that freaky eyeball just staring at you. Creepy, huh?

According to his bio Optikk’s a “Bad-tempered goon squad cyborg from the foggy polar region of evil planet Denebria. Has a spyball eyeball that lets him see through almost anything.”

Ok. So he has the huge eyeball to see through the fog. I get it. His “people” have evolved to this point I guess. Giant eyeball heads.

Secondly, as you may have noticed on the package, Optikk has “Masters Action,” and his action happens to be a “quick-draw” move.

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It’s cool and all that he draws a gun on you, but it’s really, really lame that his arm is in a permanent, “I’m gonna bust a cap in yo ass” position. To “activate” his quick-draw action, you simply hold his arm down and let go when it’s time for him to shoot. You’re screwed if you ever lose the gun. You’ll be stuck with a guy who just kind of holds his arm out there.

But he has another action that makes up for the lame, rigor mortis arm.

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Just spin the dial on his back…

and his eyeball moves!!

In case you can’t figure it out, Mattel has provided some step-by-step instructions.

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Optikk’s fairly poseable too. He has various ball joints and hinges and such. Pretty fancy compared to the old MOTU figures.

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When all is said and done though, the guy is pretty neat. He looks like a steam-punk astronaut or robot or something… with an eyeball for a head. It really seems like a poor armor design to keep your most vulnerable body part completely open to attacks. Maybe Mattel should’ve made a dorky helmet for his eye or a battle-armor contact lens.

Well, Optikk, thanks for justifying the existence of the He-Man toyline. Best of luck with your MOTUC release.