Weirdo Toys

So, what do you get when you cross a gamma-radiation contaminated man with a mutagen-induced mutant turtle? You get this guy. Teenage Mutant Ninja Hulk (Well, maybe he’s more middle-aged than teen-aged).

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My question is – Is this guy more of a Hulk toy or a Ninja Turtle toy?

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Green skin: Could be Hulk. Could be Turtle.

3-fingered hands: Looks like Ninja Turtles.

Elbow pads and wristbands: Looks like Turtle gear.

Two toes: Ninja turtle.

Knee pads: Turtle.

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Angry green humanoid: Hulk and Turtle i guess.

Constipated, human facial expression: Hulk

Holes in shoulders?: Neither.

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Blue jean cutoffs: Hulk.

Belt: Ninja Turtles

I’m not sure if that shed any light on the subject. All I know is this is a cheapy-as-hell Mexican toy. It’s flimsy, hollow plastic, and it looks to be made up of random, poorly made molds of TMNT arms and legs with Hulk torso and head. The badly painted-on pants give the toy a nice touch of crappiness, and the holes in his shoulders give the guy a little bit more mystery. Maybe those were places where a cape or parachute connected.

So, the new Incredible Hulk movie is coming out this summer, and this comedic monstrosity is what the unfortunate Mexican children get to play with when they ask for a new Hulk toy.

“Cowabunga! Hulk smash!”

So, over the past several months, I’ve been posting random toys hoping to gather insight on what they are and where they come from. I’ve been successful in a lot of cases, but other times I ask the readers to speak up and help me out. While doing this, I’ve accidentally become the weirdo toy “expert.” I now have people coming to me asking about the origin of random toys they’ve found.

Well, one such toy is the topic of my entry today. This toy was actually provided to me by my buddy, John (who has had this thing for a while now), and he was really hoping to find out what it is.

I was a bit hesitant to feature it at first, but luckily, upon seeing the toy, I thought it was pretty freaky too (and now it’s all mine John! Sucker!! ).

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At first glance I thought, “What the hell is this thing?”

An ostrich?

A giraffe?

The bastard offspring of an interspecies love affair?

So what do we have? At first, it looks like a simple bobbing bird toy – Yellow body, green tail and… red eyes and neck? Uh-oh. Could be something freaky.

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A dangly tongue? Um, yeah. Kinda weird.

Ears? On a bird? Definitely weird.

An Adam’s Apple? What the hell.

All that accompanied with the freaky looking, rubbed-off paint job definitely makes this thing qualified to be here.

There is a clue on its tail feathers luckily: “1966 Deluxe Reading Corp. 7003-0415 1B1″. Apparently Deluxe Reading Corporation has gone through some name changes over the years, and they’re best known for making dolls and stuff… and even Johnny Lightning cars.

After some annoying research and matching the toy’s serial number to a Deluxe Reading Corp. catalog i found online, I discovered this guy is actually a game piece of some old board game called Silly Safari.

Silly Safari game box photo courtesy of BoardGameGeek.com.

Silly Safari game pieces photo courtesy of BoardGameGeek.com.

It looks like the paint on the bird piece might’ve been a custom job.

Man, I’d love to get my hands on that alligator. Anybody wanna give him up?

Hi,
I’ve only recently found your site and what a great site it is. I was recently going through some old stuff of mine, and I came across these action figures. For the life of me, I can’t remember what they were called. I know it’s a long shot, but I was wondering if you or someone you know may have come across them before. The only thing I know about them is you can swap their limbs around and I think each one came with at least an extra arm you could swap over.

Thanks.
Steve

Thanks for dropping by the Weirdo Toys site. It’s always a pleasure to hear from the readers and fellow toy lovers.

I like the odd toys you sent in the pic. I’m not quite sure what they are, but they could be related to those old 80s toys that go by the name of ManTech (by Remco). They were just different characters with interchangeable accessories, body parts and stuff.
Anyone else out there have any more idea of what these things are?

Here we are again. A down-on-his-luck homeless toy. They’re always getting in the way when rummaging through the toy bins at fleamarkets and toy shows.

And what do we have here? A filthy, dirty, naked… stuntman. (You remember this guy’s buddy don’t you?)

I never would’ve expected to find another one of these guys, but here he is. A guy with the same entirely flesh-toned body, decorative belt, boots and underwear.

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This guy’s generic-as-hell, poorly made and just plain awkward… which has got me thinking. What if there’s actually a toyline out there made to look like trash. I can picture it now – an assembly line of people brushing this dirt on the toys. I see the mold makers throwing out all the good ones, making sure the bad molds with flack are used for the final production run. And to top it off, they’ll leave no production markings, so you can’t trace where and when this toy came into existence. (maybe this will be the future production plan for a Weirdo Toys store).

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Where do these guys come from?

How do they get so dirty?

What the hell.

I’ve gotta wash my hands again!

INFO UPDATE:

I did some snooping around, and I may have some idea what these guys are. It’s possible they’re from a toyline called The Karate Defenders. They were made by Imperial Toy in 1986. They were outfitted with cloth outfits and various weapons such as kamas and katanas. This is the only photographic evidence i could gather.

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Karate Defenders photo courtesy of GORT at ToyTraderz.com. Thanks!

He’s mean. He’s green. He’s like nothing you’ve ever seen.

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I found this nasty, old, green monkey recently, and I was immediately disturbed.

I hate to admit it, but the first thing that came to mind is that classic story where the AIDS virus was started by a bite from the infamous African “green monkey” (and some tellings of the story actually involve sex with the green monkey). It’s goofy I know, but if I ever had to pick a green AIDS monkey out of a police line up, this would be it.

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And just how desperate are you as a scientist to get close to this thing (let alone sexually active)? There have got to be plenty of reasons to stay away from a green monkey:

1. He’s a monkey.

2. He’s green.

3. He’s pissed (probably because a scientist just made a pass at him).

4. He’s covered in blood (maybe the aftermath of the infamous bite?).

5. He’s got chunks of flesh missing, and it looks like his skull is coming through his face (maybe we’ve got it all wrong. It could be a zombie monkey… and he was actually approached by a witch doctor).

There are no markings on this nappy monkey toy, but there is a small sticker on its foot which reads, “Hand Painted - Artmark - Hong Kong.”

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Hand-painted? Are you kidding? So, arbitrary red splotches and white highlights on his face called for hand-painting? Well, at least it gave jobs to out-of-work artists (but most likely it’s the handywork of small asian children).

The monkey is just a hollow, plastic sculpt covered with flocking… giving him that fuzzy, nappy feel. It has a broken loop or hook or something on its head, which makes me think it is a window-hanger or something.

I sure as hell hope this thing isn’t a Christmas tree ornament.

Just like his counterpart, Lil’ Jesus is risen from the dead. There’s been an update to the WWLJD - What Would Lil’ Jesus Do? entry. Take a look-see at the toy’s missing scenery (which actually provides us with another clue).

Here are some more of the oddities I found at the Jockey Lot.

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They’re awfully cute and quirky, but they’re nappy as hell. I’m not sure what these little angels are, but I’m pretty sure they weren’t intended to look like homeless children.

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I haven’t been able to gather any info about them, because all I got from their markings is “Made in Korea.” The guy I bought them from claimed they are “rare dolls from the 70s” (if that’s the case, why’d they cost a buck each?).

It looks to me that these cuties are from a series of dolls that depict a collection of facial/emotional expressions (and quite possibly various ethnicities) that range from crying, to smiling, to giving the evil eye. They’re so cute sitting there in their colored dresses (or onesy or whatever they’re supposed to be).

You think these girls are anything like the Seven Dwarves? If so, it looks like I’ve gathered, Bratty, Huffy, Pouty, Whiny and Ditzy. Who’s left in the collection? Sulky? Sneaky?

These may be considered what some doll collectors call “dirty babies” (which are essentially old, beat-up, dirty, nappy baby dolls). If anyone knows anything about these dolls, please help me out. I’m trying to run a blog here